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Some people believe that the children leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are waste of time

Some people believe that the children leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are waste of time pbl22
In todays modren time period every one wants that their children gets higher education and they fully focused on their studies. People believe that children must give priority to their studies every time and don't waste their time in leisure activities. According to my opinion it is absolutely wrong to engage children in studies all the time. Though education is important but in leisure time children should play some games and sports. It is important to remember that children need to develop their skills other than intellectual ones and it is the best way to do this through taking part in games and sports.
In
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todays
Possible spelling mistake found.
modren
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period every one wants that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
higher
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
education and
they
fully
focused on their studies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give priority to their studies every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and don't waste their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in leisure activities. According to my opinion it is
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to engage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in studies all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Though education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
games and sports. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to remember that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to develop their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
other than intellectual ones and it is the best way to do this through taking part in games and sports.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that the children leisure activities must be educational otherwise they are waste of time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
104 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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