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Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Every year, thousands of people worldwide die from both smoking tobacco and involuntarily breathing it in. Despite this, I do not agree that it should be made illegal. However, I also believe that there should be a regulation on its use, considering its harms to health. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments to support my views. It is irrefutable that tobacco products, especially cigarettes, could cause lung cancer, heart disease, and other illnesses. Drug abuse also has many potentially harmful effects not only on individuals but also on family, friends, work and society. Frequent drug users may turn to crime to meet the increasing expense for their habit. Continued drug use may cause personality changes. Some users lose interest in school or work, or have difficulty meeting the responsibilities of a job or family. Nonetheless, it costs society far more to prohibit a drug than it does to regulate it. And I‘m not talking about just money. Prohibition creates organized crime, and with it you get street wars, and police corruption. With more violence comes more police, and that means more cost. Regulation on the other hand, works quite well. The government should decide who gets to make it, who sells it, and who it is sold to. There should be controls on tobacco regarding potency, packaging, advertising, and a lot of other things. This is definitely better than banning a drug which leads to organized crime. Moreover, tobacco has long been a source of money for the governments in many countries. This income comes from taxes on the manufactured products. Excise taxes also come from tobacco that arrives from other countries. Finally, I believe that it is better to educate people about the harms of tobacco. This approach has worked better in many countries and there has been a reduction in the sale of tobacco products To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, banning tobacco is not a good idea. Drug prohibition has been the most failed social policy and banning tobacco is a step backwards. However, there should be control on the manufacturing and sale of tobacco.
Every year, thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
worldwide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
from both smoking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
and

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
involuntarily
breathing it in. Despite this, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it should
be made
illegal.

However
, I
also
believe that there should be a regulation on its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, considering its

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
harms
to health. In the following paragraphs, I shall put forth my arguments
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
support
my views.

It is irrefutable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
products,
especially
cigarettes, could cause lung cancer, heart disease, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
illnesses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Drug
abuse
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
potentially
harmful effects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on family, friends, work and society. Frequent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
users may turn to crime to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the increasing expense for their habit. Continued
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
may cause personality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
users lose interest in school or work, or have difficulty meeting the responsibilities of a job or family.

Nonetheless, it costs society far more to prohibit a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
than it does to regulate it. And I‘m not talking about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
money. Prohibition creates organized crime, and with
Consider adding a comma here.
it
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
street wars, and police corruption. With more violence
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
more police,

and that means more cost. Regulation on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, works quite well. The

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
government
should decide who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it, who sells it, and who it
is sold
to.

There should be controls on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
regarding potency, packaging, advertising, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things. This is definitely better than banning a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
which leads
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
organized
crime.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
has long been a source of money for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries. This income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from taxes on the manufactured products. Excise

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
taxes
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
that arrives from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
Finally
, I believe that

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is better to educate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
about the harms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
. This approach has worked better in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and there has been a reduction in the sale of
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
tobacco


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
products


To put it in a nutshell, I pen down saying that, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Drug prohibition has been the most failed social policy and banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tobacco
is a step

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
backwards
.
However
, there should be control on the manufacturing and sale of

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
tobacco
.
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IELTS essay Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
18 paragraphs
357 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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