Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

To some people, too much money spent on and too muSmacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or this agree

To some people, too much money spent on and too muSmacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or this agree ee72G
Physical punishment is now commonly used to control children’s discipline. Nowadays, many parents adapt this method to raise their kids. However, in my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement and this essay will discuss why this is not the best way to take care of children. Firstly, It is clear that those actions can be bad examples for children when they grow up and lead to inappropriate behavior in the future. Moreover, beating children depends much on emotions so it can consequently result in some severe coincidences in both parents and children actions. For instance, we can see a lot of news about the violence in families. Secondly, some children that didn’t accept this kind of punishment may oppose their parents. This reason will destroy the relationship between parents and children, causing other problems. For example, there are many cases in Thailand where teenagers run out of their homes and skip school because they want their mothers and fathers to worry about them. Furthermore, those kids eventually rely on their friends who have a high chance to meet troubled teens or get involved in illegal actions such as doing drugs. This can result in major problems for parents to get their children back on track. In conclusion, Raising children in an understanding way is imperative to produce good men in the future. Any kind of penalizing that affects emotional and physical behavior should be avoided and find other methods to teach teens with empathy and love that can lead to the best form of discipline.
Physical punishment is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
discipline. Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
adapt this method to raise their kids.
However
, in my opinion, I completely disagree with this statement and this essay will discuss why this is not the best way to take care of children.

Firstly
, It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that those actions can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
examples for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they grow up and lead to inappropriate behavior in the future.
Moreover
, beating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
depends much on emotions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
consequently
result in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe coincidences in both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
actions.
For instance
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
news about the violence in families.

Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that didn’t accept this kind of punishment may oppose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This reason will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, causing other problems.
For example
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases in Thailand where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
run out of their homes and skip school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want their mothers and fathers to worry about them.
Furthermore
, those kids
eventually
rely on their friends who have a high chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
troubled teens or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in illegal actions such as doing drugs. This can result in major problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
back on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
.

In conclusion
, Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider replacing "in an understanding way" with the adverb for "understanding"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an understanding way
is imperative to produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the future. Any kind of penalizing that affects emotional and physical behavior should
be avoided
and find other methods to teach teens with empathy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
that can lead to the best form of discipline.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay To some people, too much money spent on and too muSmacking children is the best form of discipline. To what extent do you agree or this agree

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts