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To reduce traffic and to get a clean and healthy environment, different modes of transportation must be encouraged and international laws should be implemented. Do you agree or disagree?

To reduce traffic and to get a clean and healthy environment, different modes of transportation must be encouraged and international laws should be implemented. jVO8M
Car is becoming part of our life day by day. It is our necessity now. Before few years there were not as many cars because people usually prefer to use a bicycle if it is not far away. I totally agree that, to reduce traffic and to get a clean and healthy environment, alternative forms of transportation must be encouraged and international laws should be implemented. Traffic is getting more day by day. Because of traffic, many people cannot reach their workplace on time which reduced efficiency sometimes. As per given data, within 32 years, approximately 29 million vehicles are running on British roads. If, we start using other modes of transportation like bus and train then traffic can be reduced. One of my friends is using a car to reach his workplace. However, he only needs to travel 3 Km. In this situation, we can use a bicycle as an alternative form of transport to keep ourselves fit and fine and to get a healthy environment by not using a car. Another main reason is our health. Health is an essential for all of us. By using personal cars, we will get a comfort of our own, but we might not get a better health as before. More usage of fossil fuels leads to higher emission of CO2 which directly affects to our Air Quality Index (AQI). Before few years, an average AQI in the UK is around 15-20, that means a healthy environment. Nowadays, it is around 55-60, a critical environment for senior citizens. In conclusion, to overcome traffic and to get clean and healthy environment, encouragement to use different modes of transportation are necessary now. Also, some of the international laws should be introduced to reduce usage of cars and their ownership.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Car
is becoming part of our life day by day. It is our necessity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
few years there were not as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
usually
prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a bicycle if it is not far away. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a clean and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, alternative forms of transportation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be encouraged
and international laws should
be implemented
.

Traffic is getting more day by day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
cannot reach their workplace on time which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
efficiency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
. As per
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
data, within 32 years, approximately 29 million vehicles are running on British roads. If, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using other modes of transportation like bus and train then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. One of my friends is using a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
to reach his workplace.
However
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
needs to travel 3 Km. In this situation, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a bicycle as an alternative form of transport to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
ourselves fit and fine and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
by not using a car.

Another main reason is our health. Health is an essential for all of us. By using personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a comfort of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we might not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better health as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. More usage of fossil fuels leads to higher emission of CO2 which
directly
affects to our Air Quality Index (AQI).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
few years, an average AQI in the UK is around 15-20, that means a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. Nowadays, it is around 55-60, a critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
for senior citizens.

In conclusion
, to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
clean and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, encouragement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
modes of transportation are necessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Also
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
international laws should
be introduced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and their ownership.
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IELTS essay To reduce traffic and to get a clean and healthy environment, different modes of transportation must be encouraged and international laws should be implemented.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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