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to get a good job today, should children study math and other subjects.

to get a good job today, should children study math and other subjects. PM06j
In this day and age, knowledge play an essential role toward people, especially to the future generation. As a result, children are now being nurtured accompanied by being supplied more and more beneficial knowledge. Beside that, math is one of the most important subjects that many adults suppose that children must learn to get a good job. The thing is whether math is really necessary for children or not. In fact, there is no denying the vital role of math in our social lives. In the world, a great number of occupations relating to math. It is easy to see that the majors such as education, science, data analysis or business and many others are attatched to mathematic problems. Math lays the groundwork for completing economic projects and practical measurements. Furthermore, it is applied in our normal lives throughout activities like buying merchandise, paying service fees and so on. Therefore, math is a key for children to be able to have a high salary as well as a good job in the future. On the other hand, it is not entirely true that all of the children need to learn about math to get success. Beside the works that require people must have mathematic knowledge, there still have a lot of jobs that do not force employee to have. It is possible that these kinds of works have their own specialities such as social science, foreign language, literature or philosophy. In reality, these occupations do not need the human resource have to do the maths, instead what they need is the quality and major skills. In conclusion, I suppose that math is important, however math just has its function when people choose the relating work. The important thing is that when the children grow up, they should choose the right jobs to do, and they are satisfied with them, this will lead them to a successful life.
In this day and age, knowledge play an essential role toward
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
to the future generation.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being nurtured
accompanied by
being supplied
more and more beneficial knowledge. Beside that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
adults suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The thing is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is
really
necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or not.

In fact, there is no denying the vital role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
in our social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the world, a great number of occupations relating to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
. It is easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that the majors such as education, science, data analysis or business and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
others are
Possible spelling mistake found.
attatched
to mathematic problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Math
lays the groundwork for completing economic projects and practical measurements.
Furthermore
, it
is applied
in our normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
throughout activities like buying merchandise, paying service fees and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is a key for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be able to have a high salary
as well
as a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in the future.

On the other hand
, it is not
entirely
true that
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success. Beside the works that require
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have mathematic knowledge, there
still
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that do not force employee to have. It is possible that these kinds of works have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
specialities such as social science, foreign language, literature or philosophy. In reality, these occupations do not need the human resource
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do the
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
,
instead
what they need is the quality and major
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

In conclusion
, I suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
however
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
math
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
has its function when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose the relating work. The
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing is that when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
grow up, they should choose the right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to do, and they
are satisfied
with them, this will lead them to a successful life.

IELTS essay to get a good job today, should children study math and other subjects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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