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To become financially responsible individuals, people should be taught how to manage money at a young age.

To become financially responsible individuals, people should be taught how to manage money at a young age. g583a

Some social events occasionally reveal that individuals who do not possess normal jobs or even are unemployed pathetically solicit their parents for expenditure on unnecessarily luxury goods that are not afforded. It undoubtedly invokes the profound and further serious issues thank to the shortage of knowledge of regulating the wealth owned by themselves. It is believed that the lacking skill is originally derived from the ignorance of education during the span of adolescence. In the following there provide the unfavorable consequence and the elaborate suggestions of educating the arrangement. . .

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
 social This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :occasionshappenings
events
occasionally
 reveal that individuals who do not possess normal jobs or even are unemployed
pathetically
 solicit their parents for expenditure on unnecessarily
 luxury This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :productscommoditiesmerchandises
goods
 that are not afforded. It undoubtedly
 invokes the profound and further
 serious issues thank to the shortage of knowledge of regulating the wealth This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :possessed
owned
 by themselves. It is believed
 that the lacking This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :proficiency
skill
 is originally
 derived from the ignorance of education during the span of adolescence. In the following there provide the unfavorable consequence and the elaborate suggestions of educating the arrangement. Don't put a space before the full stop.
.
Don't put a space before the full stop.
.

IELTS essay To become financially responsible individuals, people should be taught how to manage money at a young age.

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

91 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 6.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.5

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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