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to address the ever-increasing population, some people propose that we should look into migrating human to other planets while others that solutions should be right on Earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion

to address the ever-increasing population, some people propose that we should look into migrating human to other planets while others that solutions should be right on Earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion 7PM95
A large number of people believe that it is necessary to find other planets with a similar nature to the Earth so that people could be relocated to that planet. However, there are still people who think that the problem of the population should be solved on Earth. In my opinion, finding a settlement should be done on our present planet. let us examine both views before reaching a concrete decision. On the one hand, finding another place in the universe where humans could build a civilization similar to the Earth is a practical idea to radically solve the problem of population. This opinion could not be done in a short time, finding the planet takes a lot of time and money while the population of the world is increasing very rapidly every year. For demonstration, governments of countries have spent millions of dollars on astronomy to find suitable habitats in universe, but the amount of money is wasted, at the same time, humanity's understanding of the universe is limit. On the other hand, people could solve the problem of population on Earth. The government completely creates the discipline to limit the overpopulation in their countries. This is the activity that could be done in the ability and it does not cost too much money and time, the government could take measures to prohibit or encourage people to ensure population size. Taking the following case for the typical example, in Vietnam, the population in Vietnam has implemented the policy that the family has only 2 children, and the population growth has been controlled In my opinion, government regulation is necessary and practical to solve the population problem during the search for other planets in space. In fact, with a case in point, some countries have done very well in population management, a lot of nations in the world have found the procedure in order to resolve the overpopulation.
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
A large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is necessary to find other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
with a similar nature to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
be relocated
to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
However
, there are
still
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
should
be solved
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. In my opinion, finding a settlement should
be done
on our present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
let
us examine both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a concrete decision.

On the one hand, finding another place in the universe where humans could build a civilization similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
is a practical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to
radically
solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. This opinion could not
be done
in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, finding the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planet
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money while the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
of the world is increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
every year. For demonstration,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of countries have spent millions of dollars on astronomy to find suitable habitats in universe,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the amount of money
is wasted
, at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, humanity's understanding of the universe is limit.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Earth
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
completely creates the discipline to limit the overpopulation in their countries. This is the activity that could
be done
in the ability and it does not cost too much money and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could take measures to prohibit or encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to ensure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
size. Taking the following case for the typical example, in Vietnam, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
in Vietnam has implemented the policy that the family has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
2 children, and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
growth has been
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
controlled


In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
regulation is necessary and practical to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
during the search for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planets
in space. In fact, with a case in point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries have done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
management,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
nations in the world have found the procedure in order to resolve the overpopulation.

IELTS essay to address the ever-increasing population, some people propose that we should look into migrating human to other planets while others that solutions should be right on Earth. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
318 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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