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Time plays a significant role in our lives since it is the most precious thing and we need to spend it wisely.

Time plays a significant role in our lives since it is the most precious thing and we need to spend it wisely. 7aWmb
Time plays a significant role in our lives since it is the most precious thing and we need to spend it wisely. When it comes to spending time, we must spend it effectively. I think that People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-rather than doing things they should do. First, people today spending time in personal enjoyment rather than doing things they should do because modern life offers many sources of entertainment. Nowadays, advanced technology gives a lot of source of entertainment, which people prefer to spend their time on it rather than doing their work. For example, last month, I had my final exam, and I need to study to get high grades. Unfortunately, the night before my exam, my brother brought a new video game, so I decided to spend one hour playing with him then go back to my study. However, I end up spending all the night playing with the video game rather than preparing for my exam. As a result, I get fair grades in my exam. If I had not spent my time playing rather than studying, I would not have had low grades. (141) Moreover, nowadays, people spend more time in enjoyment rather than it is doing the thing they should do because they are less responsible than it was people in the past. The new generation, when compare with the old generation, they are less responsible and spend most of their time in entertainment because they are living easy lives. As a matter of fact, last month, my grandma told me that he lived a hard life. He did not have time to play because he worked with his dad on the farm after his school. However, nowadays, my brother spends most of his time playing video games rather than it is doing his homework. As a result, he has low grades. If my brother had not wasted his time playing a video game, he would have had a good grade. 138 To sum up, I think that, people today spend more time in enjoyable thin rather than doing thing they should do, Not only because they are many sources of entertainment but also they are less responsible.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
plays a significant role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since it is the most precious
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thing and
we need to
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spend
it
wisely
. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to spending
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time
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
it
effectively
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on personal enjoyment-doing things they like to do-
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things they should do.

First
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in personal enjoyment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
things they should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
modern life offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of entertainment. Nowadays, advanced technology gives
Possible agreement error. The noun source seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of sources".
a lot of source
of entertainment, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
their work.
For example
, last month, I had my final exam, and I need to study to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. Unfortunately, the night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my exam, my brother brought a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I decided to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
one hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with him then go back to my study.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending all the night
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than preparing for my exam.
As a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
in my exam. If I had not spent my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than studying, I would not have had low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. (141)

Moreover
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in enjoyment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
the thing they should do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are less responsible than it was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the past. The new generation, when compare with the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
generation, they are less responsible and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are living easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. As a matter of fact, last month, my grandma
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me that he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
life. He did not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he worked with his dad on the farm after his school.
However
, nowadays, my brother
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spends
most of his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
his homework.
As a result
, he has low
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grades
. If my brother had not wasted his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game, he would have had a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grade
. 138

To sum up, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in enjoyable thin
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
thing they should do, Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
sources of entertainment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they are less responsible.
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IELTS essay Time plays a significant role in our lives since it is the most precious thing and we need to spend it wisely.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
373 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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