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Throughout the history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people argue that male politicians are responsible for aggression and constant tensions between countries and if women were elevated into leadership roles, we would have a more peaceful society. However, I disagree with this view. On the one hand, I acknowledge that many fierce wars, attended with painful consequences, have occurred under male leadership. Those who advocate for this view generally contended that wars stem from the nature of men, who are supposedly always aggressive and bad-tempered. First World War and Second World War, for example, caused millions of casualties and leaders like Adolf Hitler are criticized for having created blood wars. However, I would argue that those decisions are definitely not a product of personality traits of a leader, but a reflection of perspectives of various people and groups involved. It is no doubt clear that the rise of Adolf Hitler and his ambitions of domination in Europe reflected more of a common desire of many Germans and other politicians than his own interest. On the other hand, it is absurd to say that feminine leadership model will make the world more peaceful. Firstly, history shows that female leaders could also make bellicose decisions that men do in the face of oppressive conditions and provocative actions. For instance, having been suffering under cruel rules of Chinese governors, Trung Trac who is a national hero of Vietnam established a kingdom as the Queen and led a rebellion against Chinese invasions. Another example is that Victoria, after having become Queen of the United Kingdom, also invaded India, China, and many countries in close succession. Secondly, in the future, decisions between war and peace will depend not on gender, but how leaders combine soft- and hard-power skills to produce smart strategies. This means that it would be completely wrong to inject a man in favour of a woman when both of them possess the ability to make such decisions. In conclusion, I strongly believe that women do not hold the key to world peace, what we need is government leaders who could implement feasible policies to cease hostilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that male politicians are responsible for aggression and constant tensions between countries and if women
were elevated
into leadership roles, we would have a more peaceful society.
However
, I disagree with this view.

On the one hand, I acknowledge that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fierce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
, attended with painful consequences, have occurred under male leadership. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
advocate for this view
generally
contended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
stem from the nature of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
supposedly
always aggressive and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
-tempered.
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
and Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
War
,
for example
, caused millions of casualties and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
like Adolf Hitler
are criticized
for having created blood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wars
.
However
, I would argue that those decisions are definitely not a product of personality traits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leader
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a reflection of perspectives of various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and groups involved. It is no doubt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the rise of Adolf Hitler and his ambitions of domination in Europe reflected more of a common desire of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Germans and other politicians than his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest.

On the other hand
, it is absurd to say that feminine leadership model will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
more peaceful.
Firstly
, history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
could
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
bellicose decisions that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do in the face of oppressive conditions and provocative actions.
For instance
, having been suffering under cruel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
of Chinese governors,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trung
Possible spelling mistake found.
Trac
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
is a national hero of Vietnam established a kingdom as the Queen and led a rebellion against Chinese invasions. Another example is that Victoria, after having become Queen of the United Kingdom,
also
invaded India, China, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries in close succession.
Secondly
, in the future, decisions between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
war
and peace will depend not on gender,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
combine soft- and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-power
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to produce smart strategies. This means that it would be completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to inject a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of a woman when both of them possess the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
such decisions.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that women do not hold the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
peace, what we need is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leaders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
could implement feasible policies to cease hostilities
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IELTS essay Throughout the history, male leaders always lead us to violence and conflict. If a society is governed by female leaders it will be more peaceful.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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