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People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v.1

People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v. 1
In these modern days, preparing food has been quite simple, by the advancement of sophisticated cooking utensils and equipment, which in turn has changed the livelihood of people to a great extent. I believe that this change is easily understandable if we look at our daily agenda, as we contribute a lot of time for our profession and other recreational activities. When we think about being independent, we need to realise that managing time is the greatest challenge we need to face. We all have so many tasks per day, which we need to fit properly into our tight schedules and hence it is very significant that, we are required to minimise the time we need for each activity. Though I agree that, cooking food in a healthy manner is really it is worth to maintain a sound physique, it is very much achievable nowadays, by using equipment like microwave ovens, pressure cookers, induction stoves and high flame gas stoves. The world has become more and more competent, for people to live these days because we need to be more efficient in saving time in order to carry out our job responsibilities and hence the advancement in never cooking methods has a great  effect on it. Spending time together with family is also very important for the bond between individuals. Being said that, this process of recreation is, for most people; still a dream, as it needs leisure time. The time we could cut down on different daily activities can attribute to this, and cooking is surely one among those. On the other hand, as this trend continues to its maximum, we have been noticing people tend to quit the time for food preparation and instead they depend heavily on fast food restaurants. According to me, this modern day habit is something we need to cease due to its negative effect on our health. To conclude, I certainly think that, making cuisine is less difficult in this modern era, and it has definitely reduced people's effort and stress; although the increase in the number of restaurants day by day is a question which points towards us, as a real threat to generations coming up.
In these modern days, preparing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has been quite simple, by the advancement of sophisticated cooking utensils and equipment, which in turn has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the livelihood of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a great extent. I believe that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is
easily
understandable if we look at our daily agenda, as we contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for our profession and other recreational activities.

When we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about being independent, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the greatest challenge we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to face. We all have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tasks per day, which we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to fit
properly
into our tight schedules and
hence
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant that, we
are required
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
for each activity. Though I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, cooking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Consider replacing "in a healthy manner" with the adverb for "healthy"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a healthy manner
is
really
it is worth to maintain a sound physique, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much achievable nowadays, by using equipment like microwave ovens, pressure cookers, induction stoves and high flame gas stoves. The world has become more and more competent, for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
these days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be more efficient in saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in order to carry out our job responsibilities and
hence
the advancement in never cooking methods has a great
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
effect on it.

Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
together with family is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the bond between individuals.
Being said
that, this process of recreation is, for most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
still
a dream, as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
daily activities can attribute to this, and cooking is
surely
one among those.
On the other hand
, as this trend continues to its maximum, we have been noticing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to quit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
preparation and
instead
they depend
heavily
on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
restaurants.
This phrase can sound awkward in English. Consider using "in my opinion" or "I think".
According to me
, this modern day habit is something we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to cease due to its
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our health.

To conclude
, I
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, making cuisine is less difficult in this modern era, and it has definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's effort and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
; although the increase in the number of restaurants day by day is a question which points towards us, as a real threat to generations coming up.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay People can prepare various types of foods easily and in less time nowadays. What contributed to this improvement and has this development changed the way we live? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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