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though advancement is being made in agriculture but still people around the world are hungry. why is this the case and what are possible solutions

though advancement is being made in agriculture but still people around the world are hungry. why is this the case and what are possible solutions PL51j
Agriculture is the backbone of every country and is considered as primary sector or source of income for many lives. With the increasing population there is also development in this sector. Still, the advancement is not enough to feed the increasing mouths. In this essay we will discuss about the causes and how we can overcome this problem. Let's discuss the first cause of it is the increasing population in every country. In order to feed millions of people three meals a day we require tonnes of production to be done and to that government and farmers are hand-in-hand making regular efforts to provide food. They have started different kinds of production like mixed cropping, layers cropping and many more, so that nobody sleeps unfed or starved. For instance, India is considered as heavily dependent country in variety of food production and majority of families are investing their strength in it to feed millions of public. Second cause of this issue is decreasing land to cultivate food. As we all know that almost every country is coping with the upgrading numbers in population every year. This results in declining of cultivating land as people needs shelter to live and survive. This alarming situation needs immediate attention of everyone and everywhere. To overcome this challenge, Government introduced one child policy in most countries so that producers of food gets enough fertile land for production and making regular efforts to develop this area of scope. To conclude, every challenge we face has one or more solutions like starved generation needs basic amenities to survive. Everyone is aware of cons of hunger and unstoppable advancement being made in this zone.
Agriculture is the backbone of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and
is considered
as primary sector or source of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. With the increasing population there is
also
development in this sector.
Still
, the advancement is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to feed the increasing mouths. In this essay we will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
causes and how we can overcome this problem.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's discuss the
first
cause of it is the increasing population in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. In order to feed millions of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
three meals a day we require tonnes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
to
be done
and to that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and farmers are hand-in-hand making regular efforts to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
like mixed cropping, layers cropping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that nobody sleeps unfed or starved.
For instance
, India
is considered
as
heavily
dependent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
families are investing their strength in it to feed millions of public.

Second cause of this issue is decreasing land to cultivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we all know that almost every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is coping with the upgrading numbers in population every year. This results in declining of cultivating land as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
shelter to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and survive. This alarming situation needs immediate attention of everyone and everywhere. To overcome this challenge,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
introduced one child policy in most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that producers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
fertile land for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
production
and making regular efforts to develop this area of scope.

To conclude
, every challenge we face has one or more solutions like starved generation needs basic amenities to survive. Everyone is aware of cons of hunger and unstoppable advancement
being made
in this zone.
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IELTS essay though advancement is being made in agriculture but still people around the world are hungry. why is this the case and what are possible solutions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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