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This story is about an event on a freezing day in my childhood.

This story is about an event on a freezing day in my childhood. dlE9E
This story is about an event on a freezing day in my childhood. Those days I used to hike with my friends a lot and some days we went to the mountain. One of that days, the weather was very cold and everywhere was freezing, such as stones, flowers, water, and things like that. Unfortunately, the night before, I had a restless night, and also I had seen a very bad nightmare, hence, I was not on my best and I was feeling exhausted in the morning. Long story short, we went to the mountain that day. In the back road, I slipped and fall. My knee was injured, bruised, and started to swollen. And also, my elbow cuts with a keen stone and started to bleed. Fortunately, one of my friends was a nurse and brought a first aid box with him. He washed my elbow and clean the wound, then he bandaged my arm temporarily. He took me some drugs to prevent infection, and also, he covered my leg with a dressing. They helped me arrive home. I was very exhausted that day. I ate a light dinner and went to bed. I slept like a log that night.
This story is about an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
on a freezing day in my childhood. Those days I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to hike with my friends a lot and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days we went to the mountain. One of that days, the weather was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
and everywhere was freezing, such as stones, flowers, water, and things like that. Unfortunately, the night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, I had a restless night, and
also
I had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
nightmare,
hence
, I was not on my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
best and
I was feeling exhausted in the morning. Long story short, we went to the mountain that day. In the back road, I slipped and fall. My knee
was injured
, bruised, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
Did you mean "to swell"?
to swollen
. And
also
, my elbow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
with a keen stone and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to bleed.
Fortunately
, one of my friends was a nurse and brought a
first
aid box with him. He washed my elbow and clean the wound, then he bandaged my arm
temporarily
. He took me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drugs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
infection, and
also
, he covered my leg with a dressing. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me arrive home. I was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exhausted that day. I ate a light dinner and went to bed.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
slept like a log that night.
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IELTS essay This story is about an event on a freezing day in my childhood.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
201 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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