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Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree. 73G35
In today’s world, wisdom can be shared but cannot be enforced upon. Highly debatable point these days is whether children should write their own way or follow the footsteps or advices of their parents. This essay will discuss points on both views and argue in favour of role of parents and their wisdom in shaping a child’s future. On one hand in this fast and dynamic world the only thing that’s constant are parents. They would lay the foundation of a child’s future through their knowledge which they have gained over the years through experience. Both father and mother are equally concerned about their offspring and would want nothing but the best for them. Hence wherever need be they will provide the best advice to them. For instance parents would know what program should a child opt in his future for higher education which is of critical importance to his future On other hand it is also observed that children who take their own decisions are more self dependent and confident. They are ready to face any situation that comes their way while maintaining their poise and calm. Infants who learn from their own mistakes are more capable of accepting the outcome of the decision irrespective of it being positive or negative. For instance it is often seen that most of the top leaders have made their way on their one toward the pinnacle without any help or advice from their parents. In my opinion parents while giving advices should give children options and let that latter use it’s own wisdom to choose the correct option. While the former can definitely course correct them in case they head towards a wrong path. Although parent’s immense knowledge cannot be ignored too while shaping their younger ones future. To conclude although a child would want to run his own life but parents advice is an integral part of ensuring that their children excel in their life.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world, wisdom can
be shared
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
cannot
be enforced
upon.
Highly
debatable point these days is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should write their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way or follow the footsteps or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. This essay will discuss points on both views and argue in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their wisdom in shaping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future.

On one hand in this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and dynamic world the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that’s constant are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. They would lay the foundation of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
future through their knowledge which they have gained over the years through experience. Both father and mother are
equally
concerned about their offspring and would want nothing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the best for them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
wherever need be they will provide the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
to them.
For instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would know what program should a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
opt in his future for higher education which is of critical importance to his
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
future


On other hand it is
also
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who take their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions are more self dependent and confident. They are ready to face any situation that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
their way while maintaining their poise and calm. Infants who learn from their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mistakes are more capable of accepting the outcome of the decision irrespective of it being
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, it".
instance it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that most of the top leaders have made their way on their one toward the pinnacle without any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
from their parents.

In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
while giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advices
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
options and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
that latter
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
wisdom to choose the correct option.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
the former can definitely course correct them in case they head towards a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
path.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
immense knowledge cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
too while shaping their younger ones future.

To conclude
although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
would want to run his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advice
is an integral part of ensuring that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
excel in their life.

IELTS essay Some people think that children should follow their parents’ advice, however, others disagree.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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