Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

This sentence is not yours, plagiarism is important in IELTS writing. So if you have read this somewhere, you should change and paraphrase it in your own words.

This sentence is not yours, plagiarism is important in IELTS writing. So if you have read this somewhere, you should change and paraphrase it in your own words. Kwl3R
Whilst a number of people argue that the old should live apart from young people and in particular area, others advocate that they should live with their children and other groups of people. There are rational arguments on both sides of this contentious topic which will be discussed in detail, followed by my own take on the matter. On the one hand, there are those reasoning that old people should live in special society. Firstly, having weak body, old people need medical and nursing care and they need to be taken care of, whereas, in special community, the government can provide old people with better welfare services, such as health care centers and well-trained nursing staff, which is appropriate for old people. This in turn could lighten a great burden on families as well as society. Secondly, with the galloping development of economy and technology, many senior citizens will be confronting a huge problem of adjusting to the modern society. So, older generations are having trouble keeping up with the modern technologies. Therefore, being in a special society and with their friends can help them live without stress. According the recent survey, old people living with their friends and free of modern technologies exhibit less stress than their counter parts living in modern society. On the other hand, the opposing view asserts that the old should live with their families and children. Firstly, it will certainly benefit the young generation. In fact, old generation follow rational thinking and social awakening to sort out their problems, while, new generations have overthrown traditional and conventional notions. Thus, the youth can absorb knowledge and experience from the old, which can prevent them from making detours. Secondly, old people could lend other members of their family a helping hand. For instance, the old can look after the children of a family, so, for the young seeking help from their parent helps them save the money. To conclude, there are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy; however, it is my firm conviction that the old should be among people in one society and enjoy being with their families. In addition, the old could bring great benefits to young people and help them mentally and financially.
Whilst a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
apart from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
in particular
area, others advocate that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their children and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. There are rational arguments on both sides of this contentious topic which will
be discussed
in detail, followed by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
take on the matter.

On the one hand, there are those reasoning that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Firstly
, having weak body,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need medical and nursing
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
care and
they need to
be taken
care of, whereas, in special community, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with better welfare services, such as health care centers and well-trained nursing staff, which is appropriate for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This in turn could lighten a great burden on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Secondly
, with the galloping development of economy and technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
senior citizens will be confronting a huge problem of adjusting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, older generations are having trouble keeping up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies.
Therefore
, being in a special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and with their friends can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
It appears that a preposition is missing after 'According'.
According the
recent survey,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living with their friends and free of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
technologies exhibit less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
than their
This word is normally spelled as one.
counter parts
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the opposing view asserts that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
and children.
Firstly
, it will
certainly
benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
generation follow rational thinking and social awakening to sort out their problems, while, new generations have overthrown traditional and conventional notions.
Thus
, the youth can absorb knowledge and experience from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
, which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from making detours.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could lend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
members of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
a helping hand.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
can look after the children of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
seeking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from their parent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
them save the money.

To conclude
, there are valid arguments on both sides of the controversy;
however
, it is my firm conviction that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
should be among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and enjoy being with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
could bring great benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them mentally and
financially
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay This sentence is not yours, plagiarism is important in IELTS writing. So if you have read this somewhere, you should change and paraphrase it in your own words.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts