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this modern world, it is undoubtedly said that people are too busy with their work and can not find spare time for fitness. However, various doctors say that folks do not do sufficient exercise. I shall assess a reason and provide a proper solution in the following paragraph

this modern world, it is undoubtedly said that people are too busy with their work and can not find spare time for fitness. However, various doctors say that folks do not do sufficient exercise. I shall assess a reason and provide a proper solution in the following paragraph YB1M5
In this modern world, it is undoubtedly said that people are too busy with their work and can not find spare time for fitness. However, various doctors say that folks do not do sufficient exercise. I shall assess a reason and provide a proper solution in the following paragraph. There are multifarious reasons why people do not do adequate exercise. Firstly, they ought to do jobs for their family owing to the fact that it's necessary. Few people think they are working 8 to 10 hours consequently it's sufficient for their body, on the contrary, they went to the office via cars, buses, motorcycles, etc. They don't walk for a short distance and using a vehicle. Furthermore, they get stressed and frustrated while returned due to months of repeated routine. These are the problems that rapidly affected their bodies. They busy securing his family career and forget about him. And this prompt-growing world they continue eating quick food and the reason for their laziness and lead to a plethora of diseases. On other hand, all problems have a solution. Consequently, people should find out the time for their health like after jobs they sleep near to 10 pm or 11 pm and wake up early in the morning to do a number of jogging and gym. Although numerous private sectors have a shift-type system consequently people easily find the time of their family and for fitness too. Moreover, apartments and raw Houses provide compulsory one gym and open ground for doing several exercises for folks and toddlers so they are habitat for that. Due to this fact, people usually go out to hang out with friends and gossip too. Consequently, these are the people going there and at least do several exercises. Recently, I heard one cycle shopkeeper organizing every Sunday bicycle race by age vise-like under 18 below 35 open, etc. consequently people attract to do these activities and indirectly they do marketing, on the contrary, they also lead to some awareness and people are usually to do these things. Several exercises are the most essential role in our life. We ought to find a way to do more exercise which helps us.
In this modern world, it is
undoubtedly
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too busy with their work and can not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
spare time for fitness.
However
, various doctors say that folks do not do sufficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
. I shall assess a reason and provide a proper solution in the following paragraph.

There are multifarious reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not do adequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
.
Firstly
, they ought to do jobs for their family owing to the fact that it's necessary. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are working 8 to 10 hours
consequently
it's sufficient for their body,
on the contrary
, they went to the office via cars, buses, motorcycles, etc. They don't walk for a short distance and using a vehicle.
Furthermore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and frustrated while returned due to months of repeated routine. These are the problems that
rapidly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their bodies. They busy securing his family career and forget about him. And this prompt-growing world they continue eating quick food and the reason for their laziness and lead to a plethora of diseases.

On other hand, all problems have a solution.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out the time for their health like after jobs they sleep near to 10 pm or 11 pm and wake up early in the morning to do a number of jogging and gym. Although numerous private sectors have a shift-type system
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the time of their family and for fitness too.
Moreover
, apartments and raw
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Houses
provide compulsory one gym and open ground for doing several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
for folks and toddlers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are habitat for that. Due to this fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
go out to hang out with friends and gossip too.
Consequently
, these are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
going there and at least do several exercises.

Recently, I heard one cycle shopkeeper organizing every Sunday bicycle race by age vise-like under 18 below 35 open, etc.
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract to do these activities and
indirectly
they do marketing,
on the contrary
, they
also
lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
awareness and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
usually
to do these things.

Several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
are the most essential role in our life. We ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a way to do more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us.
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IELTS essay this modern world, it is undoubtedly said that people are too busy with their work and can not find spare time for fitness. However, various doctors say that folks do not do sufficient exercise. I shall assess a reason and provide a proper solution in the following paragraph

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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