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this is about why people can not choose

this is about why people can not choose MNJo
Nowadays, it is recognized from the societies that many people are struggling in case of choosing the right way that they want to pass. The reason that they may have is the limitation of choices which are in front of them. However, some other individuals believe that not only choices are not limited, but also the difficulty of taking decisions is due to a confusing large amount of selections, This essay is tended to this view and tries to prove it by presenting some supporting reasons. First of all, we need to look at the main cores of the society which are families as the most important atmosphere in which the children are grown. Literally, most of the parents can not realize what is necessary for their children to improve their social skills like to decide. in this case, the house climate is not only an environment for children to bring their problem and look for solution in, but also is located beside the other sources of the life difficuties. To explain more, the children need to fill their gaps by getting help from parents and take their experiences to fix their problems. But a family which does not solve such problems may enhance them. secondly, the education and the higher education systems focus on what they believe is their responsibity, Allough our children need to know how to calculate and to write, they need some social skills. The schools and the universities take a long and vital period time from people which is also known as the exact time in which social experiences are gained by the youngsters and the young. When the educational environment has no plan for these experiences to be the additional improvements, no one can expect children to decide well in their older ages. To add another reason, the attention to the physical health is not much enough. The crowds usually do not believe in the effects of the heath on the social activities. That is why they eat whatever they want, they have no timetable for excersing and barely visit a doctor to check them up before they get sick. Let's discuss about the foods as an example. We all care about the taste of the foods while the scientist mention many nutritions must be considered in our daily food basket. To conclude, we shouldn't seek for the reasons which cause to decide hard in out of the around circle. Everyone needs to be graduated in social skills as well as the science. In order to give a suggestion, the authorities must focus on giving these critical skills to the parents first and then add them in their lessons.
Nowadays, it
is recognized
from the societies that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are struggling in case of choosing the right way that they want to pass. The reason that they may have is the limitation of choices which are in front of them.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other individuals believe that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choices are not limited,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the difficulty of taking decisions is due to a confusing large amount of selections, This essay
is tended
to this view and tries to prove it by presenting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporting reasons.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to look at the main cores of the society which are families as the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
atmosphere in which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are grown
.
Literally
, most of the parents can not realize what is necessary for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like to decide.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
this case, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
climate is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
an environment for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to bring their problem and look for solution in,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
is located
beside the other sources of the life
Possible spelling mistake found.
difficuties
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
more, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to fill their gaps by getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from parents and take their experiences to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
their problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
a family which does not solve such problems may enhance them.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the education and the higher education systems focus on what they believe is their
Possible spelling mistake found.
responsibity
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Allough
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know how to calculate and to write, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. The schools and the universities take a long and vital period time from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which is
also
known as the exact time in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
experiences
are gained
by the youngsters and the young. When the educational environment has no plan for these experiences to be the additional improvements, no one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to decide well in their older ages.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
another reason, the attention to the physical health is not much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
. The crowds
usually
do not believe in the effects of the heath on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
activities.
That is
why they eat whatever they want, they have no timetable for
Possible spelling mistake found.
excersing
and
barely
visit a doctor to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
them up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
foods as an example. We all care about the taste of the foods while the scientist mention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
nutritions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be considered
in our daily food basket.

To conclude
, we shouldn't seek for the reasons which cause to decide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in out of the around circle. Everyone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to
be graduated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as well
as the science. In order to give a suggestion, the authorities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on giving these critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to the parents
first
and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
them in their lessons.
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IELTS essay this is about why people can not choose

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
445 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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