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Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of time. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of time. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things. OJYp
Many people insist that the money spent on celebrating cultural festivals and national events should be utilized for various other good causes. However, I strongly believe that celebrations and festivals are crucial because such events instill national pride and help us to stay rooted in our culture. In this essay, I will substantiate my view in detail. On the one hand, celebrating national holidays such as Republic Day or Independence Day inculcate patriotism in people. Official ceremonies such as flag hoisting, parades and playing the national anthem during such holidays remind us of the fact that the comfort and freedom we enjoy today are a result of hardships endured by many veteran freedom fighters decades ago. Similarly, celebrations of cultural festivals help people to acknowledge and appreciate their culture and history. People are busy with their work nowadays and cultural festivals are rare moments in which people gather together with families and friends and carry out traditional practices. For example, during Diwali in India, people exchange gifts, prepare sweets and light fireworks, thereby making memorable events with their dear ones. On the other hand, some people insist that the money spent on such celebrations should be utilized for improving the living condition of people. It is true that many people are underprivileged and malnourished in developing countries, but that does not mean that we should not cherish the public holidays. Instead, the government should look for alternative sources of income and allocate a sufficient proportion of their national budget for betterments like eradicating poverty and bettering public infrastructure. For example, they can increase the tax on tobacco and impose more penalties on lawbreakers. In conclusion, I reiterate that public festivals foster nationalism and help us to commemorate the sacrifices made by our forefathers. Hence, I do not agree with the argument that we should stop celebrating them to raise funds for developmental work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that the money spent on celebrating cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
should
be utilized
for various other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
causes.
However
, I
strongly
believe that celebrations and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are crucial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
instill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
pride and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to stay rooted in our culture. In this essay, I will substantiate my view in detail.

On the one hand, celebrating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
holidays such as Republic Day or Independence Day inculcate patriotism in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Official ceremonies such as flag hoisting, parades and playing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
anthem during such holidays remind us of the fact that the comfort and freedom we enjoy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are a result of hardships endured by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
veteran freedom fighters decades ago.
Similarly
, celebrations of cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to acknowledge and appreciate their culture and history.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are busy with their work nowadays and cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are rare moments in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
gather together with families and friends and carry out traditional practices.
For example
, during Diwali in India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
exchange gifts, prepare sweets and light fireworks, thereby making memorable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
with their dear ones.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
insist that the money spent on such celebrations should
be utilized
for improving the living condition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are underprivileged
and malnourished in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that does not mean that we should not cherish the public holidays.
Instead
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should look for alternative sources of income and allocate a sufficient proportion of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
budget for
Possible spelling mistake found.
betterments
like eradicating poverty and bettering public infrastructure.
For example
, they can increase the tax on tobacco and impose more penalties on lawbreakers.

In conclusion
, I reiterate that public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
foster nationalism and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to commemorate the sacrifices made by our forefathers.
Hence
, I do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the argument that we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
celebrating them to raise funds for developmental work.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that public celebrations like national days and festivals are a waste of time. They are of the opinion that people should spend money on more important things.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
313 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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