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This is a true story told by a British-South African environmental activist, Lewis Pugh.

This is a true story told by a British-South African environmental activist, Lewis Pugh. 3Wd5b
Lewis Pugh is a British-South African environmentalist who works hard to protect the oceans of the world. One way he does this is by swimming! He goes on difficult swims in different parts of the world. People from various countries read about Lewis Pugh and watch him swim. Pugh swam at the North Pole to warn people that some of the Arctic Sea ice was disappearing. Another time he swam in a lake on Mount Everest to warn the governments about the effect of climate change in the Himalayas. This is what Lewis Pugh says: ‘Ocean water covers 70% of the earth. But human behaviour is having negative effects on the oceans. Ocean water is becoming dirty and polluted. Many kinds of fish and sea animals are dying off. The Ross Sea in Antarctica is different, it’s completely free of pollution. It contains many different animals and fish such as the Antarctic Toothfish, the Colossal Squid* and the Emperor Penguin. Many of these animals and fish cannot be found anywhere else on the planet. I want to gain global support for the Ross Sea so that it becomes a Protected Area. Because of that I decided to go on five symbolic swims in Antarctica. My first Antarctic swim was near Campbell Island in New Zealand. I started to swim in the freezing water. But after 200 metres, a sea lion attacked me.
Lewis Pugh is a British-South African environmentalist who works
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to protect the oceans of the world. One way
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he


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does
this
Did you mean "be"?
is
by swimming! He goes on difficult
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swims
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
from various countries
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read


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about
Lewis Pugh and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
him
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
. Pugh swam at the North Pole to warn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Arctic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sea
ice
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was


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
disappearing
. Another time he swam in a lake on Mount Everest to warn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
about the effect of climate
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change


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in
the Himalayas. This is what Lewis Pugh says:

‘Ocean water covers 70% of the earth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on the oceans. Ocean water
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is


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
becoming
dirty and polluted.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
kinds of fish and
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sea
animals are dying off. The Ross
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Sea
in Antarctica is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
, it’
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s


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completely
free of pollution. It contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
animals and fish such as the Antarctic
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toothfish
, the
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Colossal


Squid* and the Emperor Penguin.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of these animals and fish cannot
be found
anywhere else on the planet. I want
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to


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
gain
global support for the Ross
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Sea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it becomes a Protected Area.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of that I decided to go on five
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symbolic


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swims
in Antarctica. My
first
Antarctic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
was near Campbell Island in New Zealand. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
swim
in the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
freezing


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
water
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after 200
Possible spelling mistake. 'metres' is British English.
metres
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sea
lion attacked me.
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IELTS essay This is a true story told by a British-South African environmental activist, Lewis Pugh.

Essay
  American English
12 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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