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This figure illustrates the difference in salary of people depending on their age and degree level. According to the data, the older an employee is, the greater salary he earns.

This figure illustrates the difference in salary of people depending on their age and degree level. According to the data, the older an employee is, the greater salary he earns. pa723
It can be seen that people in the age group 36-40 have the biggest wage. Their salary can be between 700 and 800 Pound per week, while graduate employees from 21 to 25 yeas old earn around 400 Pound. In addition, older employees have a smaller wage than those between 36-40 but the difference is not substantial. Furthermore, the earnings also differ according to the level of education. For instance, people who obtained only the first degree have a smaller wage than those who got a higher degree. Similarly, people with other type of education earn significantly more than graduates from other two groups. To sum up, the salary depends not only on the level of qualification but also on the age group of an employee.
It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the age group 36-40 have the biggest wage. Their salary can be between 700 and 800 Pound per week, while graduate employees from 21 to 25 yeas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
earn around 400 Pound.
In addition
, older employees have a smaller wage than those between 36-40
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the difference is not substantial.
Furthermore
, the earnings
also
differ according to the level of education.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who obtained
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
first
degree have a smaller wage than those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a higher degree.
Similarly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with other type of education earn
significantly
more than graduates from other two groups.

To sum up, the salary depends not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on the level of qualification
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
on the age group of an employee.

IELTS essay This figure illustrates the difference in salary of people depending on their age and degree level. According to the data, the older an employee is, the greater salary he earns.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
126 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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