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People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are causes and effects?

People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are causes and effects? JVPMj
It is widely thought that human have been cool towards their loved ones in recent days. Thus, the measurement of hours spent on family’s activities becomes fewer than ever. This essay is to examine the reasons why this such lifestyle becomes so prevalent these days and the impacts it has on people’s lives Due to the advent of technological machines such as smartphones, ipads… which makes huge contributions to human living convenience and requirements, it is undeniable that those are the main culprits leading people to a sedentary lifestyle which triggers human into sheer boredom of realistic features, factors. Nowadays rarely does an individual purchase newspaper in morning because human adaptation is inevitable that modifications and changes in habitual behaviors slightly daily differ. Another reason is that financial issues become so prevalent that people recently have been chasing after it to make ends meet. Therefore, people are easily led to a workaholic lifestyle and are more likely to give family members a cold shoulder Taking all into consideration, it is apparent that there would be wealth of negative effects on human in term of psychological aspects. Firstly, family is defined as place where people could relieve stress and reduce anxiety, thus people would be easily prone to mental illnesses if there were not anyone to trust in and rely on. As a consequence, the alleviation of sufferings would be so strong that hardly could we handle. Secondly, family’s activities take little time, but it does wonders in happiness term, men have always been craving for affection since the very earliest primitive mankind gathered and hunted together, then had their life-long partner to share thing with, and confine thing to. Therefore, spending less time on family occasions could make our loved ones feel a sense of alienation which could trigger people into depression In conclusion, people have changed and modified to adapt the up-to-date living-needs. From my perspectives, I am convinced that the causes are so ambivalent because they somehow help shape human’s life but on the other hand those could trigger detrimental effects on mankind
It is
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
have been cool towards their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in recent days.
Thus
, the measurement of hours spent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
activities becomes fewer than ever. This essay is to examine the reasons why this such lifestyle becomes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prevalent these days and the impacts it has on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
lives


Due to the advent of technological machines such as smartphones,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ipads
… which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
huge contributions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
living convenience and requirements, it is undeniable that those are the main culprits leading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to a sedentary lifestyle which triggers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
into sheer boredom of realistic features, factors. Nowadays rarely does an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
newspaper in morning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
adaptation is inevitable that modifications and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in habitual behaviors
slightly
daily differ. Another reason is that financial issues become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
prevalent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
recently have been chasing after it to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
led to a workaholic lifestyle and are more likely to give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cold
shoulder

Taking all into consideration, it is apparent that there would be wealth of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
in term of psychological aspects.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is defined
as place where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
anxiety,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would be
easily
prone to mental illnesses if there were not anyone to trust in and rely on. As a consequence, the alleviation of sufferings would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
strong that hardly could we handle.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family’s
activities take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it does wonders in happiness term,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
have always been craving for affection since the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
earliest primitive mankind gathered and hunted together, then had their life-long partner to share thing with, and confine thing to.
Therefore
, spending less time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
occasions could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
feel a sense of alienation which could trigger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
into depression

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and modified to adapt the up-to-date living-needs. From my perspectives, I
am convinced
that the causes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
ambivalent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they somehow
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’s
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
on the other hand
those could trigger detrimental effects on
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
mankind
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IELTS essay People in many countries are spending less time with their family. What are causes and effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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