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Nowadays, people in most countries face overweight and health problems

Nowadays, people in most countries face overweight and health problems RwqyY
Nowadays, people in most countries face overweight and health problems. This essay will discuss the reasons for it and possible solutions to tackle it. On the one hand, innovations in technology such as televisions, PC and so on, make people addicted to a sedentary lifestyle. What is more, this breakthrough makes people lazy. Consequently, they want to gain everything ready and without any effort. In addition, today's convenient food cause people to be fat and own rigorous health issues, such as obesity, heart attack and heart pressure etc. For instance, BBC newly has reported that people encountering obesity climb up. As a result, in comparison to last year, this figure increased by 40%. On the other hand, scientists try to find new solutions for people being out of condition and possessing health problems. They say that people should choose an active lifestyle and additionally, they should avoid sitting behind desks for hours. They should regularly detoxify in the clinics in order to release poisons from their body. They should prefer more green nutrients rather than fast food. In addition, if they do not have enough time doing exercise, at least they should walk for one hour at outdoor parks. For example, Mark M. who was suffering from being overweight did everything written above, in the end, he lost 40 kg out of 180 kg in two months. To sum up, nowadays people's passive life and poor diet withdraw them to unhealthy life where plenty of problems are waiting for them. To prevent or solve them, they should obey scientists' advice.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in most countries face overweight and health problems. This essay will discuss the reasons for it and possible solutions to tackle it.

On the one hand, innovations in technology such as televisions, PC and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
addicted to a sedentary lifestyle.
What is more
, this breakthrough
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy.
Consequently
, they want to gain everything ready and without any effort.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's convenient food cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
rigorous health issues, such as obesity, heart attack and heart pressure etc.
For instance
, BBC
newly
has reported that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
encountering obesity climb up.
As a result
,
in comparison
to last year, this figure increased by 40%.

On the other hand
, scientists try to find new solutions for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
being out of condition and possessing health problems. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose an active lifestyle and
additionally
, they should avoid sitting behind desks for hours. They should
regularly
detoxify in the clinics in order to release poisons from their body.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
They
should prefer more green nutrients
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food.
In addition
, if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time doing exercise, at least they should walk for one hour at outdoor parks.
For example
, Mark M. who was suffering from being overweight did everything written above, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, he lost 40 kg out of 180 kg in two months.

To sum up, nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's passive life and poor diet withdraw them to unhealthy life where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems are waiting for them. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
or solve them, they should obey scientists' advice.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, people in most countries face overweight and health problems

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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