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Think of a fun toy you have when you were a child

Think of a fun toy you have when you were a child OEjoy
When I was a child, I used to like toys. I remembered that I had had a collection of hard pitch models. It has hundreds of characters like the doctor, queen, king, police, and so on. It’s not too big, just equal to a finger. They are varied, colorful, and look so pretty. That was my mom’s present many years ago. One summer, I was staying at home alone, not doing anything. My mother had thought that I must be very boring for not doing anything so she bought me a toy collection. I didn’t know if it was popular or not because when I was studying in primary school I didn’t keep in touch with anyone at school because, at that time, we didn’t have many devices to contact each other. But I used to really like it. I used it to remake some scenes of a movie I have seen the night before or make it like a real movie. It’s still available to use and as far as I am concerned, it’s in the toys box in my house. But I don’t use it anymore because I have lots of homework to do and I’m full of time now. To be honest, It is very good for children's creativity, it can help to learn about jobs, it makes children have capacious memory.
When I was a child, I
used
to like toys. I remembered that I had had a collection of
hard
pitch models. It has hundreds of characters like the doctor, queen, king, police, and
so
on. It’s not too
big
,
just
equal to a finger. They
are varied
, colorful, and look
so
pretty. That was my mom’s present
many
years ago. One summer, I was staying at home alone, not doing anything. My mother had
thought
that I
must
be
very
boring for not doing anything
so
she
bought
me a toy collection. I didn’t know if it was popular or not
because
when I was studying in primary school I didn’t
keep
in touch with anyone at school
because
, at that time, we didn’t have
many
devices to contact each other.
But
I
used
to
really
like it. I
used
it to remake
some
scenes of a movie I have
seen
the night
before
or
make
it like a real movie. It’s
still
available to
use
and as far as I
am concerned
, it’s in the toys box in my
house
.
But
I don’t
use
it anymore
because
I have lots of homework to do and I’m full of time
now
. To be honest, It is
very
good
for children's creativity, it can
help
to learn about jobs, it
makes
children have capacious memory.
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IELTS essay Think of a fun toy you have when you were a child

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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