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Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom. 7039b
We were assigned to talk about environmental issues and how to combat them as student in our environment day week at our school. My group choose to talk about plastics and its harms on our planet. However, what intrigued me was how plastics were designed and engineered in the first place. This curiosity led me to discover the subject Materials Science. I begun to observe and analyse all the items I use in my daily life, especially acrylic paints which are finely balanced dispersion of pigment in an emulsion of acrylic polymer and water. The invention of acrylic paint has influenced 20th century art movements by providing of fast drying. Materials technology has improved even simple household items like kitchenware and cleaning epquipments. For example, the microfibre cloth which has nylon strands which are one fifth of that of human hair allowing it to be much more absorbant than the conventional cotton cloth. I had volunteered in a beach cleaning drive at my local beach where we collected all sorts of wastes from broken plastic leads to old polyethene bags. We then sorted them into biodegradable, plastic and metals. Through this hand on experience I was able to see the impact of tiny particles like plastic can cause tremendous effects on the ecosystem. Plastics has caused more harm than good. I believe that the advancement of technology shouldn`t be in the expense of our environment. To gain a better understanding of this subject, I turned to YouTube videos. By opting science stream in 11th and 12th grade it has aided me to further my interests. Although due to the pandemic laboratory activities at our school were resumed but this didn't stop me. I tried simple at home activities and projects like paper chromatography, analysing fertilizer, super absorbants in diapers etc. I aspire a career in materials science technology. By doing extensive research on materials by microscopic techniques we can understand its morphology, composition, physical properties, and dynamic behavior to create products which can not only improve the lives of our future generation but also help solve global environmental issues. .
We
were assigned
to talk about environmental issues and how to combat them as student in our environment day week at our school. My group choose to talk about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastics
and its harms on our planet.
However
, what intrigued me was how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastics
were designed
and engineered in the
first
place. This curiosity led me to discover the subject
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Materials
Science. I
Possible grammatical error. You used a past participle without using any required verb ('be' or 'have'). Did you mean "began"?
begun
to observe and
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
all the items I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in my daily life,
especially
acrylic paints which are
finely
balanced dispersion of pigment in an emulsion of acrylic polymer and water. The invention of acrylic paint has influenced 20th century art movements by providing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
drying.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Materials
technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
even simple household items like kitchenware and cleaning
Possible spelling mistake found.
epquipments
.
For example
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
microfibre
cloth which has nylon strands which are one fifth of that of human hair allowing it to be much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
absorbant
than the conventional cotton cloth.

I had volunteered in a beach cleaning drive at my local beach where we collected all sorts of wastes from broken
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
Possible spelling mistake found.
polyethene
bags. We then sorted them into biodegradable,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
and metals. Through this hand on experience I was able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the impact of tiny particles like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
can cause tremendous effects on the ecosystem.
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "plastic has".
Plastics has
caused more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I believe that the advancement of technology
You used an accent character instead of an apostrophe. Please use either "shouldn't" or "shouldn’t".
shouldn`t
be in the expense of our environment.

To gain a better understanding of this subject, I turned to YouTube videos. By opting science stream in 11th and 12th grade it has aided me to
further
my interests. Although due to the pandemic laboratory activities at our school
were resumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
me. I tried simple at home activities and projects like paper chromatography,
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
fertilizer, super
Possible spelling mistake found.
absorbants
in diapers etc.

I aspire a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
science technology. By doing extensive research on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
by microscopic techniques we can understand its morphology, composition, physical properties, and dynamic behavior to create products which can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of our future generation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
solve global environmental issues.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
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IELTS essay Think about an academic subject that inspires you. Describe how you have furthered this interest inside and/or outside of the classroom.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
350 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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