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Things like puzzles, board games and pictures can contribute to a child’s development. What would you give a child to help him/her develop and why? Give details and examples

In on going world childerens are more keen to video games rather than puzzles, board games, pictures, because of that they making slow progression in the brain development. Through board and pictures games child can develop their intellectuality and make a better progression In my point of view.  board games like chess, can give the child exposure of knowledge and makes their brain to think broader aspects. Neurons in the brain gets activated by playing mind use games. Through painting child presence and concentration is going to develop. Digital vedio games can contribute creativity unlike most adult Solent who play offline lag in this activity. For example child who have online game can eventually develop better skill and make good grade compare to offline games. With the use of computer Lot in born diseases are developed at childhood effecting child later life. These have to be substittuted to offline mode games. So, that childerens cannot stressed out and can increase their capacity to acquire the knowledge through playing. To put it in a nut shell, I pen down saying that board games are way much suitable for their on going development without risk free.
In
Did you mean "ongoing"?
on going
world
Possible spelling mistake found.
childerens
are more keen to video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than puzzles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, pictures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that
Did you mean "they're making", "they are making", or "they were making"?
they making
slow progression in the brain development. Through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
and pictures
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
can develop their
Possible spelling mistake found.
intellectuality
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better progression In my point of view.  
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
like chess, can give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
exposure of knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their brain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
broader aspects. Neurons in the brain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
activated by playing mind
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Through painting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
presence and concentration is going to develop. Digital
Possible spelling mistake found.
vedio
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can contribute creativity unlike most adult
Possible spelling mistake found.
Solent
who play offline lag in this activity.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
who have online game can
eventually
develop better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grade compare to offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer Lot in born diseases
are developed
at childhood effecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
later life. These
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
Possible spelling mistake found.
substittuted
to offline mode
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that
Possible spelling mistake found.
childerens
cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "stress"
stressed
out and can increase their capacity to acquire the knowledge through playing. To put it in a nut shell, I pen down saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
board
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are way much suitable for their
Did you mean "ongoing"?
on going
development without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
free.

IELTS essay Things like puzzles, board games and pictures can contribute to a child’s development. What would you give a child to help him/her develop and why? Give details and examples

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
194 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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