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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to grow up in countryside than in a large city

Although many people claim that countryside is beeter for children living, I think there is a far greater result if they grown-up in an urban area. Hence, I completely disagree with this opinion and will examine some reasons in the following paragraph. First of all, I believe that big cities have higher advance of education's level than the rural. Since most of the schools and universities have an alternative branches of faculties for them to choose. To be more precise, not only a variety of leisure activity but also the academic task. Additionally, those institutions require a modern technology which can facilitate all their student conveniently. For example, the computer and tablet for learning with the inter accessibility that easy to search informations in classroom. Secondly, It is admitted that in large cities, oppotunity to find job is more easier. This is because the progress of the city's infrastructure, can be known as a source of economic system which namely industries, medical, education and entertainment. These full-options create a chance to young people after graduation to apple their satisfying career. Besides, they can gain high salary if they are specialist ones. Chemist, for instance, due to less particular schooling of chemistry in Thailand apart from the college in the capital city. Thus, the growth of youngsters during the studying year could be worthwhile here. In conclusion, the development of children is depends on their surrounding importantly and that why big city would be my nest decision.
Although
many
people
claim that countryside is
beeter
for children living, I
think
there is a far greater result if they grown-up in an urban area.
Hence
, I completely disagree with this opinion and will examine
some
reasons in the following paragraph.
First of all
, I believe that
big
cities
have higher advance of education's level than the rural. Since most of the schools and universities have an alternative branches of faculties for them to choose. To be more precise, not
only
a variety of leisure activity
but
also
the academic task.
Additionally
, those institutions require a modern technology which can facilitate all their student
conveniently
.
For example
, the computer and tablet for learning with
the inter
accessibility that easy to search
informations
in classroom.
Secondly
, It
is admitted
that in large
cities
,
oppotunity
to find job is
more easier
. This is
because
the progress of the city's infrastructure, can
be known
as a source of economic system which
namely
industries, medical, education and entertainment. These full-options create a chance to young
people
after graduation to apple their satisfying career.
Besides
, they can gain high salary if they are specialist ones. Chemist,
for instance
, due to less particular schooling of chemistry in Thailand apart from the college in the capital city.
Thus
, the growth of youngsters during the studying year could be worthwhile here.
In conclusion
, the development of children is depends on their surrounding
importantly
and that why
big
city would be my nest decision.
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IELTS essay It is better for children to grow up in countryside than in a large city

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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