Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

In today’s world most of the people are depending on the computers on a large basis. Specifically, children age between 10- 15 years are playing the games using computers. With the increase on usage of the computer games primarily impacts on the children’s education. In this essay, I will explain about the pessimistic effects of children playing computer games and the preventive measures. In the past decades children were usually play with their friends and parents after finished their work in their free time. However, in present days most of the children are very interested to play games in the computers. Children easily attracted towards to the computers, mobile phones and the technology. Over usage of the computers mainly impacts on the children’s concentration levels and studies. Sometimes it leads to health problems such as joint pains, backbone, eye and migraine problems. Recent studies shows that children who are playing the computer games in the online their thinking capability levels are decreased. For instance, pubg is the popular game in the worldwide and some people are addicted to that game. Pubg is a hazardous game and sometimes it leads to fatal accidents also. In order to control this problem, schools should motivate their students regarding the effects of the playing online games and the influence on their health. Most importantly, the government should prohibit the some of the games which are dangerous to the people and children. Parents need to engage with the other activities during the children’s leisure time rather than allowing them to play computer games. Then only the problem might be resolved.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'depending' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are depending
on the computers on a large basis.
Specifically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
age between
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
10- 15
years are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
using computers. With the increase on usage of the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
primarily
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
education. In this essay, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the pessimistic effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and the preventive measures.

In the past decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
were
usually
Consider using a past participle here: "played".
play
with their friends and parents after finished their work in their free time.
However
, in present days most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested to play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the computers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
easily
attracted towards to the computers, mobile phones and the technology. Over usage of the computers
mainly
impacts on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
concentration levels and studies.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it leads to health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as joint pains, backbone, eye and migraine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. Recent studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
the computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
in the online their thinking capability levels
are decreased
.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
pubg
is the popular game in the worldwide and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are addicted
to that game.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Pubg
is a hazardous game and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it leads to fatal accidents
also
.

In order to control this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, schools should motivate their students regarding the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and the influence on their health. Most
importantly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should prohibit the
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Parents need to engage with the other activities during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
leisure time
rather
than allowing them to play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
might
be resolved
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the negative impacts of children playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.