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Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Primary cities around the world are continuously increasing because of the massive increase in population. Due to the growing of the population there is a huge changes are occurred in the environment around the globe. In this essay I will explain about the causes of this growth and preventive measures. Over the few decades the population is increasing. This increasing of the population leads to the changes in the people’s lifestyle and creates the environmental problems. Some of the people they are migrating from country side areas to the urban areas due to the various reasons. While, in the cities people needs accommodation to live. However, the major problem is lack of land in the urban areas. So, people’s are cutting the trees for their living and it leads to deforestation. Moreover, in the urban areas the pollution levels reaches to an alarming rate. In most of the cities people usually prefer their own transport than the public transport. Due to this pollution in the air it mainly causes severe health problems such as migraine, respiratory problems and lung infections. The main reason for the growing of major cities are unemployment and lack of opportunities in the rural areas. To control this problem the government should provide necessary job opportunities in the rural areas and they have to provide adequate facilities in the countryside. Furthermore, government need to implement the one child policy then only the problem might be resolved otherwise it won’t be possible. According to recent survey shows that India listed in the one of the major population countries compared with the remaining countries. Finally, in my opinion it is not only the responsibility of the government but also the people. Both should equally protect their environment in order to give a safe and healthy environment to the future generations.
Primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
around the world are
continuously
increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the massive increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
. Due to the growing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
there is a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "change"?
changes
are occurred
in the environment around the globe. In this essay I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
about the causes of this growth and preventive measures.

Over the few decades the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
is increasing. This increasing of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
leads to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle and creates the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
they are migrating from country side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
due to the various reasons.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
needs
accommodation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
However
, the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is lack of land in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
are cutting the trees for their living and it leads to deforestation.
Moreover
, in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
the pollution levels reaches to an alarming rate. In most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
prefer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transport than the public transport. Due to this pollution in the air it
mainly
causes severe health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as migraine, respiratory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and lung infections. The main reason for the growing of major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
are unemployment and lack of opportunities in the rural areas.

To control this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should provide necessary job opportunities in the rural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
areas and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide adequate facilities in the countryside.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
need to implement the one child policy then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
might
be resolved
otherwise
it won’t be possible. According to recent survey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that India listed in the one of the major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
population
countries compared with the remaining countries.

Finally
, in my opinion it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Both should
equally
protect their environment in order to give a safe and healthy environment to the future generations.
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IELTS essay Most major cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to the massive increase in population. This has led to a general decline in the quality of life in city areas as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solutions to this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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