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They are unable to tackle complexities while driving

They are unable to tackle complexities while driving j8qAa
The numbers of teen’s deaths on the roads are increasing due to motor vehicles crashes. It is believed that these accidents can be reduced if people should not be admissible until they turn twenty-four. I largely agree with this notion. To commence with, individuals under 24 should not be allowed to drive because they are not as mature as they should be for driving. Being immature, people not only create problems for themselves, but also for others. Moreover, sometimes people under 24 do stunts and drive very fastly by being influenced from their fast bike rider models because they are irresponsible. They imitate their idols. When younger drive at rapid speed then, they meet with an accident. To continue, it is very necessary to have perfect hand, eye, feet coordination to run a vehicle and youngers do not have ability to tackle this situation at this age. They are unable to tackle complexities while driving. Furthermore, under 24 individuals do not have much knowledge about rules and regulations and also do not follow these rules which can give birth to casualties. For example, a total of 151, 113 people were killed in 480, 652 road accidents across India in 2019. Therefore, license should not be given to people who are less than 24. In conclusion, extending age limit up to 24 for driving can decrease number of accidents on the road which would be beneficial in many ways. Authorities should take this step as soon as possible.
The numbers of teen’s deaths on the roads are increasing due to motor vehicles crashes. It
is believed
that these accidents can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not be admissible until they turn twenty-four. I
largely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion.

To commence with, individuals under 24 should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not as mature as they should be for driving. Being immature,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
create problems for themselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for others.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
under 24 do stunts and drive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastly
by
being influenced
from their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
bike rider models
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are irresponsible. They imitate their idols. When younger drive at rapid speed then, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
with an accident.

To continue, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
necessary to have perfect hand, eye, feet coordination to run a vehicle and
Possible spelling mistake found.
youngers
do not have ability to tackle this situation at this age. They are unable to tackle complexities while driving.
Furthermore
, under 24 individuals do not have much knowledge about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations and
also
do not follow these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
which can give birth to casualties.
For example
, a total of 151, 113
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
were killed
in 480, 652 road accidents across India in 2019.
Therefore
, license should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are less than 24.

In conclusion
, extending age limit up to 24 for driving can decrease number of accidents on the road which would be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. Authorities should take this step as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible.

IELTS essay They are unable to tackle complexities while driving

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
247 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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