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these days young people look forward to a year of travelling, between they begin work or university. They consider this point of view as a chance to broaden their horizons, but others consider it such as unnecessary fact.

these days young people look forward to a year of travelling, between they begin work or university. They consider this point of view as a chance to broaden their horizons, but others consider it such as unnecessary fact. 8682l
It is quite common these days young people look forward to a year of travelling, between they begin work or university. They consider this point of view as a chance to broaden their horizons, but others consider it such as unnecessary fact. I would like to point out that everyone decide their future as they feel and want it. In my view, teenagers who travel to several countries, cities will gain important and useful knowledge in their daily as well as professional life. Such journeys can be seen as extremely beneficial because they offer people a good way of developing interests and seeing the world from other visions. More over, they may think that is better to do something different from university or to work in the chosen another country that can offer them in the future gaining a better standard of living, good salary and great aspiration. By the contrast, those who have spent their time by travelling to another places waste their precious time, a lot of money for accommodation, flights, restaurants and other activities. I must admit that, travelers being impressed by what they saw, they will begin to explore the cultures, traditions and history of the chosen state Also they adapt to a different way of life and usually may not return to their hometown. In conclusion, I could state the fact that some people support the idea that a new experience in their own development of traveling is not beneficial. On the other hand, I support the idea that each person should try something new, go through as many experiences as these events can offer and know how to grow on their own.
It is quite common these days young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
look forward to a year of travelling, between they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
work or university. They consider this point of view as a chance to broaden their horizons,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others consider it such as unnecessary fact. I would like to point out that everyone decide their future as they feel and want it.

In my view,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who travel to several countries, cities will gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and useful knowledge in their daily
as well
as professional life. Such journeys can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as
extremely
beneficial
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they offer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way of developing interests and seeing the world from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
visions. More over, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that is
better to do something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from university or to work in the chosen another country that can offer them in the future gaining a better standard of living,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
salary and great aspiration.

By the contrast, those who have spent their time by travelling to another places waste their precious time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money for accommodation, flights, restaurants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
activities. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
admit that, travelers
being impressed
by what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to explore the cultures, traditions and history of the chosen state
Also
they adapt to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of life and
usually
may not return to their hometown.

In conclusion
, I could state the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that a new experience in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
development of traveling is not beneficial. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that each person should try something new, go through as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experiences as these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
can offer and know how to grow on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
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IELTS essay these days young people look forward to a year of travelling, between they begin work or university. They consider this point of view as a chance to broaden their horizons, but others consider it such as unnecessary fact.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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