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Nowadays, computers and games are the leading source of entertainment for youngsters.

Nowadays, computers and games are the leading source of entertainment for youngsters. YRWl5
Nowadays, computers and games are the leading source of entertainment for youngsters. However, they tend to serve violence in different ways. This can effect a person negatively and make them vulnerable to commit crimes. In my opinion, these scenes should be censored in order to nulify their ill effects. To embark on, the action scenes in movies and games can leave serious impacts on the young minor. They imitate what they see without knowing the consequences. The violence served on television and games also give rise to the aggresive behaviour in the youngsters. Moreover, crime rate is also increasing as a result of violent scenes in the movies the games. Acording to a recent report published in the Times of India, the crime rate in India has increased by 14% as a result of viewing violent scenes and trying to copy them. The solution of the problem lies with the censor board. The movies should be viewed properly and the violent scenes that can have severe impact in the minds of people should be censored properly. Moreover, setiing a proper age limit for such movies and games can help a lot in solving the problem. As movies are the major source of entertainment and relaxation, they can not be abandoned completely. Parental guidance combined with proper awareness towards the action scenes can mitigate their ill effects and well help in making them harmless for the viewers. To conclude, we can ssay that the violence and action scenes in movies and games is a cause of concern as it is deteriorating the social values among people. They need to be censored properly so as to make them a harmless mode of relaxation.
Nowadays, computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the leading source of entertainment for youngsters.
However
, they tend to serve violence in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways. This can effect a person
negatively
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them vulnerable to commit crimes. In my opinion, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
should
be censored
in order to
Possible spelling mistake found.
nulify
their ill effects.

To embark on, the action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
serious impacts on the young minor. They imitate what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
without knowing the consequences. The violence served on television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
also
give rise to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aggresive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in the youngsters.
Moreover
, crime rate is
also
increasing
as a result
of violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Acording
to a recent report published in
If the term is a proper noun, use the suggested capitalization.
the Times of India
, the crime rate in India has increased by 14%
as a result
of viewing violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
and trying to copy them.

The solution of the problem lies with the censor board. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
should
be viewed
properly
and the violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
that can have severe impact in the minds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should
be censored
properly
.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
setiing
a proper age limit for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a lot in solving the problem. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
are the major source of entertainment and relaxation, they can not
be abandoned
completely. Parental guidance combined with proper awareness towards the action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
can mitigate their ill effects and well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in making them harmless for the viewers.

To conclude
, we
Possible spelling mistake found.
can ssay
that the violence and action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scenes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a cause of concern as it is deteriorating the social values among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They need to
be censored
properly
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a harmless mode of relaxation.
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IELTS essay Nowadays, computers and games are the leading source of entertainment for youngsters.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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