Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking
1. Latest Topics
2. Speaking Club

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of young people becoming addicted to using their mobile phone, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of young people becoming addicted to using their mobile phone, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour BMgm9

Nowadays, youngsters becoming addicted to using their mobiles phones are increasing day by day and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Personally, I completely agree with the argument and will analyze the reasons. It's true that mobile phones have numerous things useful for us but using too much can brings bad things with people especially children. First of all, starting at a computer or mobile screen for a long periods of time can make eye problems. There are lots of parent allow their kids to use mobile phone for a long time and this can make children's eye have problems like eyestrain or myopic. Secondly, when a kid just focus only on a phone and don't go out side to do activities, it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase the risk of suffering from disease like obesity. Another reason is kids have to develop their brain. If they using to much time to do useless things at that age, it can lead to lack of attention, learning impairment and reduction in ability for self-regulation. Finally, with no parental control, they can see some violent content or negative content that will be imitated by children especially growing children. To sum up, mobile phone is not really bad but people have to control their using so that it can be safer and parent should focus on children when they using phone

Nowadays, youngsters becoming addicted to using their mobiles You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdialcontactcall up
phones
 are increasing day by day and this is having a This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
 impact on children's Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.behavior
behaviour
. Personally
, I completely This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 with the argument and will analyze the reasons. It's true that mobile You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdialcontactcall up
phones
 have numerous things useful for us This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 using too much can brings This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
bad
 things with This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
. This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".First
First of all
, starting at a computer or mobile screen for a long Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "period"?period
periods
 of time can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 eye problems. There are Possible agreement error. The noun parent seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of parents".lots of parents
lots of parent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :authorize
allow
 their kids to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 mobile You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdialcontactcall up
phone
 for a long time and this can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 children's eye have problems like eyestrain or myopic. Secondly
, when a kid This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:merely
just
 focus This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exclusively
only
 on a You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdialcontactcall up
phone
 and don't go Did you mean "outside"?outside
out side
 to do activities, it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :hazarddanger
risk
 of suffering from disease like obesity. Another reason is kids This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 develop their brain. If Did you mean "they're using", "they are using", or "they were using"?they're usingthey are usingthey were using
they using
Did you mean "too"?too
to
 much time to do useless things at that age, it can lead to lack of attention, learning impairment and reduction in ability for self-regulation. Finally
, with no parental control, they can This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :witness
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 violent content or This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
 content that will be imitated
 by You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
especially
 growing You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
. To sum up, mobile You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdialcontactcall up
phone
 is not really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
bad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:ought to
have to
 control their using This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that it can be safer and parent should focus on You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 when Did you mean "they're using", "they are using", or "they were using"?they're usingthey are usingthey were using
they using
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraphphone.phone!phone?phone:phone,phone;
phone