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These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of young people becoming addicted to using their mobile phone, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour

These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of young people becoming addicted to using their mobile phone, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour BMgm9
Nowadays, youngsters becoming addicted to using their mobiles phones are increasing day by day and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour. Personally, I completely agree with the argument and will analyze the reasons. It's true that mobile phones have numerous things useful for us but using too much can brings bad things with people especially children. First of all, starting at a computer or mobile screen for a long periods of time can make eye problems. There are lots of parent allow their kids to use mobile phone for a long time and this can make children's eye have problems like eyestrain or myopic. Secondly, when a kid just focus only on a phone and don't go out side to do activities, it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase the risk of suffering from disease like obesity. Another reason is kids have to develop their brain. If they using to much time to do useless things at that age, it can lead to lack of attention, learning impairment and reduction in ability for self-regulation. Finally, with no parental control, they can see some violent content or negative content that will be imitated by children especially growing children. To sum up, mobile phone is not really bad but people have to control their using so that it can be safer and parent should focus on children when they using phone
Nowadays, youngsters becoming addicted to using their mobiles
phones
are increasing day by day and this is having a
negative
impact on children's
behaviour
.
Personally
, I completely
agree
with the argument and will analyze the reasons. It's true that mobile
phones
have numerous things useful for us
but
using too much can brings
bad
things with
people
especially
children
.
First of all
, starting at a computer or mobile screen for a long
periods
of time can
make
eye problems. There are
lots of parent
allow
their kids to
use
mobile
phone
for a long time and this can
make
children's eye have problems like eyestrain or myopic.
Secondly
, when a kid
just
focus
only
on a
phone
and don't go
out side
to do activities, it can lead to a sedentary lifestyle and increase the
risk
of suffering from disease like obesity. Another reason is kids
have to
develop their brain. If
they using
to
much time to do useless things at that age, it can lead to lack of attention, learning impairment and reduction in ability for self-regulation.
Finally
, with no parental control, they can
see
some
violent content or
negative
content that will
be imitated
by
children
especially
growing
children
. To sum up, mobile
phone
is not
really
bad
but
people
have to
control their using
so
that it can be safer and parent should focus on
children
when
they using
phone
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IELTS essay These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of young people becoming addicted to using their mobile phone, and this is having a negative impact on children's behaviour

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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