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These days, sports have become one of the necessary

These days, sports have become one of the necessary qkw2p
These days, sports have become one of the necessary in general life, associated with people in every age range and also people with special conditions. If we are asked about the achievement in sport, whether it comes to physical related or mental related, it would be difficult for us to make a definite answer. Due to the fact that some sports, good body condition is needed. However, mental is also crucial in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Both sides will be clarified in the following paragraphs. First and foremost, the players, who have completed comprehensive health checking, are required in a number of sports. For instance, scuba diving is an activity, which a license is needed to accomplish before getting to the sea. The process of getting the license will ask the drivers to have tons of practice of diving in many depths and going through the real circumstances, which they might have to face while they are in the ocean. Moreover, they might have to check a particular part inside their body, lungs, for example. Those processes were made to make sure that the players will be able to survive in harmful situations, which can suddenly happen. Speaking about mental conditions, it is true that people need to overcome the hardest situation in order to succeed in something. Sports are also one of the challenges that many people cannot get through the beginning phase. In order to do that, people need something to push and persuade them, so they can keep doing it. From my point of view, mindset is vital because if people deny believing in what they are accomplishing, in the end, they might decide to stop easily because they overlook the outcome of accomplishment sports. To summarize, although doing athletic events is always a great choice, some sport-types might be dangerous for people with less experience. People need to be aware of their specific conditions and carefully select the sport, which perfectly fit them.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have become one of the necessary
in general
life, associated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in every age range and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with special conditions. If we
are asked
about the achievement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, whether it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to physical related or mental related, it would be difficult for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
answer. Due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
is needed
.
However
, mental is
also
crucial in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Both sides will
be clarified
in the following paragraphs.

First
and foremost, the players, who have completed comprehensive health checking,
are required
in a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
For instance
, scuba diving is an activity, which a license
is needed
to accomplish
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
getting to the sea. The process of getting the license will ask the drivers to have tons of practice of diving in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
depths and going through the real circumstances, which they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face while they are in the ocean.
Moreover
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
a particular part inside their body, lungs,
for example
. Those processes
were made
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that the players will be able to survive in harmful situations, which can
suddenly
happen.

Speaking about mental conditions, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to overcome the hardest situation in order to succeed in something.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are
also
one of the challenges that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through the beginning phase. In order to do that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need something to push and persuade them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
doing it. From my point of view, mindset is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
deny believing in what they are accomplishing, in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they overlook the outcome of accomplishment sports.

To summarize
, although doing athletic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
is always a great choice,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sport-types
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with less experience.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to be aware of their specific conditions and
carefully
select the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, which
perfectly
fit them.
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IELTS essay These days, sports have become one of the necessary

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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