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Chose a job, job salary is most important consideration

Chose a job, job salary is most important consideration ELG0b
Nowadays, whether choosing a profession based on salary or not is one of the pressing issues facing us all over the world. In my opinion, salary plays a vital role in selecting career as well as there are multifarious reasons for choosing jobs according to other considerations. Firstly, there are plethora of reasons for considering salary as the most rudimental and crucial phenomena. A standard payment guarantees a high standard quality of life, in which the individuals can afford their soaring demand on not only human fundamental needs but also luxurious things such as brand new accessories or overseas holidays. Besides, plenty of job holders set salary as a measure of their working capacity, adroitness, educational background as well as their level in the company. The higher income they receive, the more valuable they are in their prospective employment; therefore, not only the amount of money itself but also made-up reputation makes the salary the most concerned factor in job selection. For instance, one of my friends Mr. Sajib as an expert in IELTS always considers salary while choosing his profession. Subsequently, there is a proliferation of individuals who consider more other different circumstances to take a decision on job replacement (Topic Sentence). The working environment is mentioned in the requirement of many job seekers, especially for the inhabitants who seek the emancipation and outdoor activities. In fact, they cannot stick to the job which requires 8 hours of sitting in front of the computer every day like a bank officer even though this vacancy is offered the extremely competitive salary in the job market. Thereafter, contribution to the community is also an interesting matter that several numbers of people choose. For example, instead of working for a colossal consulting firm in the town, many comrades of mine visit to rural areas, helping and ameliorating the performance of native enterprises. They get a tiny amount of payment, but they are pleased with their choices because they assist to boost up the average income of the local dwellers. To recapitulate, it can be said that the salary is vital in job selection of many citizens, but this is by no means the core or fundamental consideration for everyone in making a career decision.
Nowadays, whether choosing a profession based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
or not is one of the pressing issues

facing us all over the world. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
plays a vital role in

selecting career
as well
as there are multifarious reasons for choosing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
according to other

considerations.

Firstly
, there are plethora of reasons for considering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
rudimental
and crucial

phenomena. A standard payment guarantees a high standard quality of life, in

which the individuals can afford their soaring demand on not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
human fundamental needs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but


also
luxurious things such as
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
accessories or overseas holidays.
Besides
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of job

holders set
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
as a measure of their working capacity, adroitness, educational background as

well as their level in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. The higher income they receive, the more valuable they are in

their prospective employment;
therefore
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the amount of money itself
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
made-up

reputation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
the most concerned factor in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection.
For instance
, one of my

friends Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sajib
as an expert in IELTS always considers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
while choosing his profession.

Subsequently
, there is a proliferation of individuals who consider more other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different


circumstances to take a decision on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
replacement (Topic Sentence). The working

environment
is mentioned
in the requirement of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seekers,
especially
for the inhabitants

who seek the emancipation and outdoor activities. In fact, they cannot stick to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which

requires 8 hours of sitting in front of the computer every day like a bank officer
even though
this

vacancy
is offered
the
extremely
competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
market. Thereafter, contribution

to the community is
also
an interesting matter that several numbers of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose. For

example,
instead
of working for a colossal consulting firm in the town,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
comrades of mine

visit to rural areas, helping and ameliorating the performance of native enterprises. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a

tiny amount of payment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
pleased
with their choices
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they assist to boost up

the average income of the local dwellers.

To recapitulate, it can
be said
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is vital in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
selection of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is

by no means the core or fundamental consideration for everyone in making a career decision.
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IELTS essay Chose a job, job salary is most important consideration

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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