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These Days people of all groups ages are getting obese. what are its causes? How this problem can we solve?

These Days people of all groups ages are getting obese. what are its causes? How this problem can we solve? DYQDk
Nowadays obesity become a big problem for whole individuals. why it happens and how this cause is solved. In this essay I will give causes regarding this and discuss some solution to overcome the problem To begin with, there are several reasons why people are getting obese. firstly, in this modern world people have hectic sehedule of their work and they are unable to giving time their personal life. Therefore, do not go to gym, walking and yoga, people are getting fat day by day, secondly lavish lifestyle is also a big reason because if anybody need to go near by, they prefer bike or car rather than going by walk, so there fat is increasing day by day because of less walking. Furthermore, the more junk food is very popular all over the world and junk food is eat by people on daily basis which can also lead heavyness. A report conducted by Indian government that shows, who individuals eat fast food in daily routine they are more fatty than others and also slow in their work. On theother hand, In my point of view having a good time table of daily life can be helpful. To explicate it, by time table people can adjust their time for health related activities such as, any type of work out which is going to reduce problem of extra weight. Moreover, to follow a healthy diet on daily routine like, eggs, green stuff this type of things also helpful for losing weight. As per report of American University which shows that people with a hygienic diet are less fatty and look attractive. In conclusion, I reiterate my views by saying that people themselves are the reason for increasing obesity, but with the help of some right steps they can overcome from the problem.
Nowadays obesity become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem for whole individuals.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
why
it happens and how this cause
is solved
. In this essay I will give causes regarding this and discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solution to overcome the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problem


To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting obese.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
firstly
, in this modern world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have hectic
Possible spelling mistake found.
sehedule
of their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
work and
they are unable to giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
their personal life.
Therefore
, do not go to gym, walking and yoga,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
day by day,
secondly
lavish lifestyle is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if anybody need to go
Did you mean "nearby"?
near by
, they prefer bike or car
rather
than going by walk,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
is increasing day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less walking.
Furthermore
, the more junk food is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular all over the world and junk food is
Consider using a past participle here: "eaten".
eat
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
basis which can
also
lead
Possible spelling mistake found.
heavyness
. A report conducted by Indian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, who individuals eat
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
routine they are more fatty than others and
also
slow in their work.

On
Possible spelling mistake found.
theother
hand, In my point of view having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
table of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
life can be helpful. To explicate it, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
table
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can adjust their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for health related activities such as, any type of work out which is going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
problem of extra weight.
Moreover
, to follow a healthy diet on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
daily
routine like, eggs, green stuff this type of things
also
helpful for losing weight. As per report of American University which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with a hygienic diet are less fatty and look attractive.

In conclusion
, I reiterate my views by saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
themselves are the reason for increasing obesity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
right steps they can overcome from the problem.
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IELTS essay These Days people of all groups ages are getting obese. what are its causes? How this problem can we solve?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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