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Today's more and more people use robot at their work it is postive development and negative development.Why ?

Today's more and more people use robot at their work it is postive development and negative development. Why? mXop8
In this modern era, the advancement of technology provides us Robot and autonomous way to do our work. My standpoint is that it is negative development. every thing comes with their postive effect and negative effect as well. I will discuss both in forthcoming paragraphs. To begin with, there are numerous positive effect of this technology. Firstly, it makes our work in sufficient cost as well as saves our precious time. This applies in both workplace and home chores as well. To enumerate, we purchase electronic such as washing machine, refrigerator, cars it works over a period of decade. It is beneficial for those who are working. It is suitable for those who suffered illness and because of their busy schedules. It is significant solution to maintain a proper work life balance. To continue with different school of thought, there are several negative aspects which cannot be ignored. First of all, Robots eliminate dangerous jobs for humans because they are capable of working in hazardous environment. Secondly, people suffered from unemployment in huge amount Because of this establishment. Although, recent research related to health issues outcomes of tha research is that physical illness has been esclating in high rates because people don't want to put more effort in home chores as well other works that the reason for there illness. Furthermore, people are mostly dependent on autonomous machine as compare to ourselves. From all aforementioned, every coin have two sides as same as it had mor negative impact on our society because nowadays people completely dependent on this development.
In this modern era, the advancement of technology provides us Robot and autonomous way to do our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. My standpoint is that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
development.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
every
thing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with their
Possible spelling mistake found.
postive
effect and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
effect as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. I will discuss both in forthcoming paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are numerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect of this technology.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in sufficient cost as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as saves our precious time. This applies in both workplace and home chores as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
. To enumerate, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
electronic such as washing machine, refrigerator, cars it works over a period of decade. It is beneficial for those who are working. It is suitable for those who suffered illness and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their busy schedules.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
It
is significant solution to maintain a proper
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance.

To continue with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
school of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
aspects which cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, Robots eliminate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
jobs for humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are capable of working in hazardous environment.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffered from unemployment in huge amount
Because of this
establishment. Although, recent research related to health issues outcomes of
Possible spelling mistake found.
tha
research is that physical illness has been
Possible spelling mistake found.
esclating
in high rates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't want to put more effort in home chores as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
other works that the reason for there illness.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
mostly
dependent on autonomous machine as compare to ourselves.

From all aforementioned, every coin have two sides as same as it had
Possible spelling mistake found.
mor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
negative
impact on our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
completely dependent on this development.

IELTS essay Today's more and more people use robot at their work it is postive development and negative development. Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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