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These days people are living into their 90's and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly members or should the government be held responsible?

These days people are living into their 90's and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly members or should the government be held responsible? NeJy
Nowadys, people survive more than 90 years and as a result of this there is raised question about who should care for elderly people. In my opinion, family should be responsible for older people, because parents take care of their children when their children are young and children should care for their parents when they are get old. When old people with their family, they feel themselves emotionally comfort and life with family is useful for their mental health. As a result of this, the life expentancy of elderly people become longer. And also, children of elderly people learn from their parents how to manage family, how to bring up children and so on. In contrast, nowadays many family do not have time to take care of the elderly. Because in todays world both men and women are working, so they do not have enough time to take care of their parents. Another problem is some families have financial problems. In such cases, I suggest it is the responsibility of government to take care of elderly people. In addition, in nursing home older people become physically healthier, because in residental homes nurses who are trained to take care of old people are service for elderly people. Also, they can make friends in nursing home. In conclusion, I believe that government should take care of older people in some cases, but families should be take care of elderly people if they able to take care of their parents
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowadys
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
survive more than 90 years and
as a result
of this there
is raised
question about who should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
should be responsible for older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are young and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
when they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they feel themselves
emotionally
comfort and life with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is useful for their mental health.
As a result
of this, the life
Possible spelling mistake found.
expentancy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become longer. And
also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
learn from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
how to manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, how to bring up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.

In contrast
, nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
do not have time to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
world both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women are working,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Another problem is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have financial problems. In such cases, I suggest it is the responsibility of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, in nursing home older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
physically
healthier,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
residental
homes nurses who
are trained
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are service for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Also
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friends in nursing home.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
should be take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
if
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
able to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
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IELTS essay These days people are living into their 90's and beyond. As a result, there is increasing concern about care for the elderly. Do you think it is the responsibility of the family to care for their elderly members or should the government be held responsible?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
246 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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