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Social Media- menacing or allow free speech?

Social Media- menacing or allow free speech? p8wa
Social media has been the forefront platform for teenagers to receive and collaborate on the latest current issues. But recently, there has been a rise in the number of allegations of social media suppressing our free speech for various political reasons. Outwardly speaking, I cannot deny the validity of these arguments, but I am of the opinion that social media do in fact stifle public debate to a certain extent. In the following, I am going to put forth three reasons why social media stifles public debate and harms the freedom of speech of us individuals and the society at large as well.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
has been the forefront platform for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
to receive and collaborate on the latest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
recently, there has been a rise in the number of allegations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
suppressing our free speech for various political reasons.

Outwardly
speaking, I cannot deny the validity of these arguments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
do in fact stifle public debate to a certain extent.

In the following, I am going to put forth three reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
stifles public debate and harms the freedom of speech of us individuals and the society at large
as well
.

IELTS essay Social Media- menacing or allow free speech?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
103 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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