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These days people are forgetting the real meaning behind festivals and they celebrate them just for enjoyment purpose do you agree or disagree

These days people are forgetting the real meaning behind festivals and they celebrate them just for enjoyment purpose 0wykQ
Nowadays, the festivals have lost their importance among people and become a reason for enjoyment only. While most people have forgotten the the real meaning of festivals, I believe few masses still feel the warmth of festivals. The festivals are just can find in the houses for enjoyment purposes of new generation. Explicating it the youngsters thought it to be prominent reason for inviting their near and dear ones as the people are more workaholic and get efficient time to spend on festival day offs Moreover, the celebrations are considered to be best way to share happiness and affection between the groups of new generation, irrespective of the historical significance of the festival. It is just a source of entertainment and maybe they don't even know the reason of celebrating them. For an instance, instead of lighting the lamp people burn crackers on the special occasion of Diwali. However, in my perspective, a handful of mortals believe in rituals and belief associated with the specific festivals. In other words, the older people have taken care of the traditions and cultures which they exhibit in today's world on the occasions. they not only consider festivals as a way of finding to katherine's but also a significant event according to their mythology. To exemplify, conservatives deliberately celebrate their festivals as did by their ancestors, keeping the historical significance in their minds. To conclude, all the people have forgotten the original meaning of festivals, I believe that they are still aware of the reasons for these celebrations.
Nowadays, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
have lost their importance among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for enjoyment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. While most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
real meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
, I believe few masses
still
feel the warmth of festivals.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
can find in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
for enjoyment purposes of new generation. Explicating it the youngsters
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
it to be prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for inviting their near and dear ones as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more workaholic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
efficient time to spend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
day offs
Moreover
, the celebrations
are considered
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "be the best".
be best
way to share happiness and affection between the groups of new generation, irrespective of the historical significance of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festival
. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a source of entertainment and maybe they don't even know the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
of celebrating them. For an instance,
instead
of lighting the lamp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
burn crackers on the special occasion of Diwali.

However
, in my perspective, a handful of mortals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "believes"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'believe' is not always incorrect.)
believe
in rituals and belief associated with the specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
.
In other words
, the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have taken care of the traditions and cultures which they exhibit in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world on the occasions.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
as a way of finding to
Possible spelling mistake found.
katherine
's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
according to their mythology. To exemplify, conservatives
deliberately
celebrate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
as did
Did you maybe mean "buy" or "be"?
by
their ancestors, keeping the historical significance in their minds.

To conclude
, all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have forgotten the original meaning of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
festivals
, I believe that they are
still
aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for these celebrations.
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IELTS essay These days people are forgetting the real meaning behind festivals and they celebrate them just for enjoyment purpose

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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