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These days parents have less time with their children. What are the causes and effects.

These days parents have less time with their children. What are the causes and effects. LlpBr
Parents play integral roles in youngster’s overall well-being coupled with optimal performance. Despite this, these days parents are not exerting enough time to their offspring. This issue can be attributed to several factors, and I feel that its consequences are tremendous. Clearly, a handful of reasons seem to lay the foundation for this phenomenon. One of the cogent factors is people's hectic pace of life. In other words, individuals sometimes have to work hard and overtime, if not always so as to not only make ends meet but also provide their children with every luxury they can afford. For instance, working overtime, many individuals could not have enough free time to spend with their families, which in the long run can bring about working relationships. Another widely-observed drive is children’s sedentary lifestyle. The majority of youngsters are nowadays wasting most of their time on the internet, which means they prefer virtual life, while they could have spent that time with their loved ones in real life. These reasons can hopefully explain why children are having less time with their caregivers. Sadly, lapse of parental attention can pose detrimental impacts on ones. As a first point, many teenagers fall victim to anti-social behavior and become reluctant to have same occupation with their parents, which may lead youngsters to fall into a life of drug, abuse and crime. If this happens constantly, then some children might become spoiled brats, if not all of them. There is also a long-term effect: children will likely to endure a sense of loneliness which might adversely impact on their well-being both mentally and physically. These are some of the obvious repercussions. To conclude, children are receiving less parental attention than they used to in the past. I feel that increased workload parents have and teenagers’ obsession with social medial and technology are main factors to refute this trend. I wholeheartedly advise that parents should allocate as much time as possible with their offspring because teenagers may eventually be affected both mentally and physically.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
play integral roles in youngster’s
overall
well-
being coupled
with optimal performance. Despite this, these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are not exerting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their offspring. This issue can
be attributed
to several factors, and I feel that its consequences are tremendous.

Clearly
, a handful of reasons
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "seems"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'seem' is not always incorrect.)
seem
to lay the foundation for this phenomenon. One of the cogent factors is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's hectic pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In other words
, individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and overtime, if not always
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with every luxury they can afford.
For instance
, working overtime,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals could not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with their families, which in the long run can bring about working relationships. Another
widely
-observed drive is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
sedentary lifestyle. The majority of youngsters are nowadays wasting most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on the internet, which means they prefer virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, while they could have spent that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
in real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. These reasons can
hopefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are having less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their caregivers.

Sadly
, lapse of parental attention can pose detrimental impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
. As a
first
point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
fall victim to anti-social behavior and become reluctant to have same occupation with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, which may lead youngsters to fall into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of drug, abuse and crime. If this happens
constantly
, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might become spoiled brats, if not all of them. There is
also
a long-term effect:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will likely to endure a sense of loneliness which might
adversely
impact on their well-being both mentally and
physically
. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
obvious repercussions.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are receiving less parental attention than they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to in the past. I feel that increased workload
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
’ obsession with social medial and technology are main factors to refute this trend. I
wholeheartedly
advise that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should allocate as much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
as possible with their offspring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
may
eventually
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
both mentally and
physically
.
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IELTS essay These days parents have less time with their children. What are the causes and effects.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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