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Environmnet pollution is global problem and decrease of transportation is one one solutions to protect it. to what extent you agree or disagree?

Environmnet pollution is global problem and decrease of transportation is one one solutions to protect it. Y21gn
the world has a problem from decades that is pollution. one of major cause of air contamination is transportation, like cars. from my point of view we have to protect our atmosphere by decrease the transportation by using local production. on one hand the import products need variety of means of delivery like lorries, cars, and airplanes. all of these transportation will produduct more energy, consequently the global warming had developed. on the other hand, the local manufacturing also need the same fuel and energy and resulting in pollution of the environment and may lead to more pollution not only in the air but also in water resources like rivers that are in the big cities, for example some irresponsible worker will through out the rubbish into these rivers. To conclude, the contamination of environment is related to multiple causes. in my opinion decrease the transportation is good way to protect or decrease the risk of it.
the
world has a problem from decades
that is
pollution.
one
of major cause of air contamination is
transportation
, like cars.
from
my point of view we
have to
protect our atmosphere by decrease the
transportation
by using local production.
on
one hand the import products need variety of means of delivery like lorries, cars, and airplanes.
all
of these
transportation
will
produduct
more energy,
consequently
the global warming had developed.
on
the other hand, the local manufacturing
also
need the same fuel and energy and resulting in pollution of the environment and may lead to more pollution not
only
in the air
but
also
in water resources like rivers that are in the
big
cities,
for example
some
irresponsible worker will
through out
the rubbish into these rivers.
To conclude
, the contamination of environment
is related
to multiple causes.
in
my opinion decrease the
transportation
is
good
way to protect or decrease the
risk
of it.
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IELTS essay Environmnet pollution is global problem and decrease of transportation is one one solutions to protect it.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
157 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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