Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days music has various forms in world. Why music is needed? Is international music more important than traditional music as former is heard more nowadays.

These days music has various forms in world. Why music is needed? Is international music more important than traditional music as former is heard more nowadays. YyVNB
It is true in recent years that, Different kinds of music are being popular around the globe. I believe that classical songs should be more signifacant than pop or loud music. Firstly, People often listen music for relaxation and to escape from hectic life. Furthermore, People need to work 24/7 due to longer work hour individuals got tension as they heard melody they feel relaxed, totally free from tension. secondly, Sometimes it works as a medicine. For example, Recent research has shown that, Particularly some music or tune helps to treat depression, anxiety. It is being practised in many healthcare center and in hospitals. Finally, People make music profession for their living. It is require for their food and shelter because if individual record tune they gain huge amount of money that it helps to feed their family. Therefore, It plays a significant role in people's life and it is necessity of today's. On the other hand, I think traditional music are more crucial rather than modern songs. Not only it shows our culture, values but also it represent our nations in the form of melody. In addition, If people get interesten in classical music they will become more aware about the meaning behind the music, rhythm and tune. Last but not the least, People get oppurtunity to represent their music as it classic song play a great role than pop songs. For instance, Nepali people are representing their nation through their cultural music each year in international platform. Thus, It become significant in today's world for individual to heard traditional melody than western. In conclusion, People need music to reflect their counties culture, norms and values. Besides that most of them require for calmness and relaxation. I personally believe that it has a significant role in individuals life.
It is true in recent years that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are being popular around the globe. I believe that classical songs should be more
Possible spelling mistake found.
signifacant
than pop or loud music.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
listen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
for relaxation and to escape from hectic life.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need to work 24/7 due to longer work hour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
tension as they heard melody they feel relaxed,
totally
free from tension.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it works as a medicine.
For example
, Recent research has shown that,
Particularly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
or tune
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to treat depression, anxiety. It is being
Possible spelling mistake. 'practised' is British English.
practised
in
Possible agreement error. The noun healthcare seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much healthcare", "a good deal of healthcare".
many healthcare
center and in hospitals.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
profession for their living. It is
Consider using a past participle here: "required".
require
for their food and shelter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
record tune they gain huge amount of money that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to feed their family.
Therefore
, It plays a significant role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life and it is necessity of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
are more crucial
rather
than modern songs. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
our culture, values
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
Did you mean "represents"?
represent
our nations in the form of melody.
In addition
, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
interesten
in classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
they will become more aware about the meaning behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
, rhythm and tune. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppurtunity
to represent their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
as it classic song play a great role than pop songs.
For instance
, Nepali
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are representing their nation through their cultural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
each year in international platform.
Thus
, It
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
significant in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to heard traditional melody than western.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
music
to reflect their counties culture, norms and values.
Besides
that most of them require for calmness and relaxation. I
personally
believe that it has a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
life.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days music has various forms in world. Why music is needed? Is international music more important than traditional music as former is heard more nowadays.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • These days music has various forms in world. Why music is needed? Is international music more important than traditional music as former is heard more nowadays.