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How sleep affects your emotions

How sleep affects your emotions ldmNw

Scientists do some research on a group of adults about how sleep affects their emotions and are very critical. Furthermore, the experiment illustrates those people That have got full night sleep they are precise and advances their potential in their lifetime. moreover they are hyperactive. However theses groups of adults that haven’t got sufficient sleep, they haven’t got flexibility to achievement more ambitious and they can’t handle it. Overall, this feelings its about our cortex of brain. Consequently, it affects on emotional and can be distrupt our potential for doing something.

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some
 research on a group of adults about how sleep affects their emotions and are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 critical.

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, the experiment illustrates those This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 That have This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
 full night sleep they are precise and advances their potential in their lifetime. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?moreover,
moreover
 they are hyperactive. Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?However,
However
Did you mean "these"?these
theses
 groups of adults that haven’t This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
 sufficient sleep, they haven’t This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquired
got
 flexibility to achievement more Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).ambitious, and
ambitious and
 they can’t handle it. Overall
, Did you mean "these"?these
this
 feelings Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?it'sit is
its
 about our cortex of brain. Consequently
, it affects on emotional and can be Possible spelling mistake found.disruptdistrust
distrupt
 our potential for doing something. 

IELTS essay How sleep affects your emotions

Essay

American English

2 paragraphs

91 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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