Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days ,most of the people spend lot of money to watch cinema and shopping mall rather than public places .It is the positive or negative development on people...

These days, most of the people spend lot of money to watch cinema and shopping mall rather than public places. It is the positive or negative development on people. . . Ppkj
It is certainly true that in recent times several people are fond of watching new movies as well as to visit new malls in this world. I believe that, it has some benefits and drawbacks. To commence with, mostly people have busy schedule. Therefore, they think that cinema is the best place for entertainment. Due to this, youngsters and children are more prone to watch update movies in theatres. For instance, due to survey of heath university, cinemas are good source to provide relaxation to everybody s mind. Secondly, due to modernization mostly people prefer to wear trending clothes, which are comfortable and raise the personality of individual. So, spending and visiting to cinemas are positive effect on human beings. However, it has some drawbacks also. Furthermore, these days most of people are not able to visit shopping mall or cinema. Because, people have no appropriate money to buy new things and watch update movies. Moreover, the children and young generation are spend lot of time to watch movies and playing online games. it is not only effect the heath status of whole generation in world but also effect the concentration of students. For example, students want to gain more knowledge about films as well as they do not spend proper concentration on their study. therefore they lose their marks in academics. This is the two main negative reason of paying more on cinemas and shopping mall. In conclusion, although cinemas and shopping mall create a positive image in people mind, it has some drawbacks also. it mostly effect the intelligence and personality level of people.
It is
certainly
true that in recent times several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are fond of watching new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
as well
as to visit new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
malls
in this world. I believe that, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits and drawbacks. To commence with,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have busy schedule.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
is the best place for entertainment. Due to this, youngsters and children are more prone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
in
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
.
For instance
, due to survey of heath university,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source to provide relaxation to everybody s mind.
Secondly
, due to modernization
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to wear trending clothes, which are comfortable and raise the personality of individual.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, spending and visiting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
on human beings.
However
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
.
Furthermore
, these days most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to visit shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have no appropriate money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
update
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
Moreover
, the children and young generation are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
It seems that an article is missing.
lot of
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and playing online games.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
the heath status of whole generation in world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
the concentration of students.
For example
, students want to gain more knowledge about films
as well
as they do not spend proper concentration on their study.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
therefore
they lose their marks in academics. This is the two main
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
reason of paying more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
and shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
.
In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinemas
and shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mall
create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
image in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mind, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
also
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
mostly
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
the intelligence and personality level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days, most of the people spend lot of money to watch cinema and shopping mall rather than public places. It is the positive or negative development on people. . .

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts