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These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? WyqRD
Youths aiming for higher education are a very common scenario seen now a days. They prefer going to a university since they want to be highly educated. I agree with the above statement, however there are some negative effects for attaining highest qualification. Education is the key to a successful future. Children nowadays are very particular about their education. They want to be highly educated from the most reputed colleges so as to get a good job in the future. Traditionally, parents weren't concerned about the education of their child as they want their lamb to be married as early as possible as they want to shed all the responsibility of their child. Lately, youths are capable enough to arrange the fees for their college or university as they don't want to be a burden on their parents. Generations don't want the society to call their parents a poor stigma of the society and instead they tend to work hard to earn a good living. For example, youths studying in Canada do part time jobs which are not only a source of income for them, but they can gain self independence and not asking the families to pay the loans for further education. On the other hand, some parents married off their children so that at least amount of money could be spent on them. The youths at that time weren't even aware about the positive effects of education and the job prospects. They were made to do farming, which was the only source of income at that time. Agricultural practices were carried out in the areas where education did not gain much prevalence due to lack of awareness. I would like to conclude my essay by stating that education is the only means by which individuals can gain acceptance in the society. This makes them self reliant and independent in many areas. While on the other hand an uneducated person will always have negative thoughts and an never gain independence economically.
Youths aiming for higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common scenario
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
. They prefer going to a university since they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
highly
educated. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement,
however
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects for attaining
A determiner is probably missing here: "the highest".
highest
qualification.

Education is the key to a successful future. Children nowadays are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
particular about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be
highly
educated from the most reputed colleges
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job in the future.
Traditionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
weren't concerned about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of their child as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
their lamb to
be married
as early as possible as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to shed all the responsibility of their child. Lately, youths are capable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to arrange the fees for their college or university as they don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be a burden on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. Generations don't
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
the society to call their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
a poor stigma of the society and
instead
they tend to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to earn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
living.

For example
, youths studying in Canada do
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
part time
jobs which are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a source of income for them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
self independence and not asking the families to pay the loans for
further
education.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
married off their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that at least amount of money could
be spent
on them. The youths at that time weren't even aware about the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and the job prospects. They
were made
to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go farming".
do farming
, which was the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
source of income at that time. Agricultural practices
were carried
out in the areas where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
much prevalence due to lack of awareness.

I would like
to conclude
my essay by stating that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
means by which individuals can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
acceptance in the society. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self reliant
and independent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas. While
on the other hand
an uneducated person will always have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
thoughts and
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
never
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gain
independence
economically
.
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Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay These days, more people are going to university than in the past. They start work later in life and with higher qualifications. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
332 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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