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Some parents do not spend much free time with their children. Why is this? What effects does this have on children and parents?

Some parents do not spend much free time with their children. Why is this? What effects does this have on children and parents? 6xmr0
There is no doubt that due to the current lifestyle, parents are dedicating a reduced amount of their free time to their children. This essay will discuss some of the reasons behind this trend and would also elucidate the consequences on both of them. To begin with, the main reasons why parents are unable to spend their free space with their children are due to hectic work schedule and household chores. To explain further, parents spend more hours in office, which leaves less time to be with their children. For instance, I work in varied shift timings on a rotational basis, hence I rarely get opportunities to fully interact with my daughters. In addition, people involved in household chores could rarely find time to mingle with their offspring. This is because, they are into multiple tasks which involves cooking, washing clothes, cleaning utensils and other activities. Consequently, this would end up spending minimal time with them. Furthermore, these are not left without harmful consequences for parents and children. As parents spend minimal time with their children, they end up watching television or involve in activities which could not be beneficial. As children are not closely monitored, they are involved in illegal activities or move into inappropriate paths. Parents must make sure that they mingle with their children, as this could open the window for them to share their thoughts. For instance, children would love to discuss with their parents, things taught at class or daily conversations with their peer groups. On the contrary, parents become mentally depressed, if they are not satisfied with the time period they spend with their children. This could also lead to various stress related disorders and to an extend would find it difficult to keep up work life balance. In conclusion, although parents are busy with their work and homely tasks, spending an adequate amount of time with their children is imperative. Moreover, this would leave parents less depressed and children not being drifted apart from their career.
There is no doubt that due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
lifestyle,
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parents
are dedicating a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
amount of their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons behind this trend and would
also
elucidate the consequences on both of them.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are unable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their free space with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are due to hectic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule and household chores. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
further
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more hours in office, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to be with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For instance
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in varied shift timings on a rotational basis,
hence
I rarely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
opportunities to
fully
interact with my daughters.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
involved in household chores could rarely find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to mingle with their offspring. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they are into multiple tasks which involves cooking, washing clothes, cleaning utensils and other activities.
Consequently
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up spending minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with them.

Furthermore
, these are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
without harmful consequences for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
minimal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up watching television or involve in activities which could not be beneficial. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are not
closely
monitored, they
are involved
in illegal activities or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
into inappropriate paths.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that they mingle with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, as this could open the window for them to share their thoughts.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to discuss with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, things taught at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or daily conversations with their peer groups.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
become mentally depressed, if they are not satisfied with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This could
also
lead to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
related disorders and to
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'extend' is correct. If 'extend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an extend
would find it difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are busy with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and homely tasks, spending an adequate amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is imperative.
Moreover
, this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
less depressed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
not
being drifted
apart from their career.
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I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some parents do not spend much free time with their children. Why is this? What effects does this have on children and parents?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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