Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways.

These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways. raq3N
It is certainly true that one of the main aims of university is to secure a better job. The majority of people want to improve their future career prospects and attending university is one of the best ways to do this as it increases a person's marketable skills and attractiveness to potential employers. In addition, further education is very expensive for many people, so most would not consider it if it would not provide them with a more secure future and a higher standard of living. Thus job prospects are very important. However, there are other benefits for individuals and society. Firstly, the independence of living away from home is a benefit because it helps the students develop better social skills and improve as a person. A case in point is that many students will have to leave their families, live in halls of residence and meet new friends. As a result, their maturity and confidence will grow enabling them to live more fulfilling lives. Secondly, society will gain from the contribution that the graduates can make to the economy. We are living in a very competitive world, so countries need educated people in order to compete and prosper. Therefore, I believe that although a main aim of university education is to get the best job, there are clearly further benefits. If we continue to promote and encourage university attendance, it will lead to a better future for individuals and society (279 words)
It is
certainly
true that one of the main aims of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is to secure a better job. The majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their future career prospects and attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
is one of the best ways to do this as it increases a person's marketable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and attractiveness to potential employers.
In addition
,
further
education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
expensive for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most would not consider it if it would not provide them with a more secure future and a higher standard of living.
Thus
job prospects are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

However
, there are other benefits for individuals and society.
Firstly
, the independence of living away from home is a benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
the students develop better social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
as a person. A case in point is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their families,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in halls of residence and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
new friends.
As a result
, their maturity and confidence will grow enabling them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
more fulfilling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Secondly
, society will gain from the contribution that the graduates can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
to the economy. We are living in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
competitive world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
countries need educated
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in order to compete and prosper.

Therefore
, I believe that although a main aim of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
education is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the best job, there are
clearly
further
benefits. If we continue to promote and encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
attendance, it will lead to a better future for individuals and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


(279 words)
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days, more and more people are making the choice to go to university. While some people are of the opinion that the only purpose of a university education is to improve job prospects, others think that society and the individual benefit in much broader ways.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 6band
    subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs
    In this hectic world, everyone gazes on phenomenal result. Employers are always expecting the extreme productivity from their employees’. So they are seeking ways to achieve that output through different activities such as subsidized membership of gyms and sports clubs. In this essay I am going to s...
  • 5.5band
    importance of nature for our well being
    Why do all brandings are about being natural and eco-friendly? We are living in 21st century, the century that will decide, how our future will be with every single action we take. All the fuss about eco-friendly and natural product is to be expected, because we are harming the nature more than ever...
  • 5band
    stroke types effects on aphasia types.
    Also, a recent study in this field has claimed that female gender and old age in both sexes are the causes of fluent aphasia (). According to the classical approach, there is a one-by-one relationship between language and brain function, and each language function is related to a specific area in th...
  • 5band
    The impact of tourism on the environment
    Tourism treats nature as something to serve it, so it sometimes contributes to some of the existing negative impacts on the environment (Bucky, 2011). The transportation industry provides tourists with the best possible means of transportation from their jump-off to their destination (Yeoman et al. ...
  • 5.5band
    Talk about caravan for project
    Caravan tourisms are really popular now, you know it? It is understood as a form of travel by self-driving cars or personal vehicles in groups of two or more people by road, which can go through different territories and countries. Caravan tourism has a high level of comfort and flexibility, helpin...
  • 5band
    the design process is an approach for breaking down a large project into smaller chunks
    the given issutration shows that design process for a large project can be broken into smaller chunks. For any problem, the first step is to define and get the main idea of the problem. After defining the problem, start collecting infomation for the problem, do more research, get as much information...