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These days, more and more adults are spending their time playing video games. What are the causes for this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

These days, more and more adults are spending their time playing video games. What are the causes for this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? 96dxr
These days, video games have transformed into a great hobby among youngsters. This essay aims to introduce some reasons why video games are trending and. I will explain why I personally believe that playing video games is a negative development. One important reason why youth spend more time with playing video games is that the new generation grew up with these games since they were children. In fact, they found it to spend their time with their peers who like this manner for gathering. Additionally, youngsters usually compete together to make a thriller and delightful night after passed a hard day. A further reason why video games are trending among adults is that these games lead them to release their energy in a safe environment. In addition, in many cases, they found these kinds of video games to manage their anxieties. Moreover, they can take special time for themselves without any disturbances. I think that spending more time for video games is negative. First of all, it could cause some violent behavior. Additionally, some of the young people playing more video games involved addiction, or some of them lead to sleep deprivation. Secondly, playing video games requires sitting for a long time, which is causes some pain in their body. Furthermore, if the time of playing is over than normal, the shape of bones in the back and neck is impacted. Gradually, the eyes are exposed to damage as a result of indulgence in playing video games. To conclude, spend more over time for playing video games have some reason such as used to this lifestyle and it cause release their energy and they could avoid anxiety. However, I personally think it is negative development due to cause some bad effect on body and violent behavior.
These days,
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have transformed into a great hobby among youngsters. This essay aims to introduce
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some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are trending and. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why I
personally
believe that
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playing
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video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development.

One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why youth spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is that the new generation grew up with these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
since they were children. In fact, they found it to spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their peers who like this manner for gathering.
Additionally
, youngsters
usually
compete together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a thriller and delightful night after passed a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
day. A
further
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are trending among adults is that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
lead them to release their energy in a safe environment.
In addition
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, they found these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
to manage their anxieties.
Moreover
, they can take special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for themselves without any disturbances.

I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that spending more
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time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it could
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cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violent behavior.
Additionally
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
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playing
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
involved addiction, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them lead to sleep deprivation.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
requires sitting for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pain in their body.
Furthermore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
is
Use "(over)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
over
than normal, the shape of bones in the back and neck
is impacted
.
Gradually
, the eyes
are exposed
to damage
as a result
of indulgence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
games.

To conclude
, spend more over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to this lifestyle and it
Did you mean "causes"?
cause
release their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
energy and
they could avoid anxiety.
However
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect on body and violent behavior.
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IELTS essay These days, more and more adults are spending their time playing video games. What are the causes for this trend? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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