Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

These days many fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reason for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

These days many fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reason for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development? gQrL
Thanks to widespread women’s rights movements, more and more women have become the breadwinners for their family while their husbands stay at home looking after the kids. In my opinion, this is the result of an extreme, yet naïve ideology that has created an imbalance in many families. Organised groups which call for absolute equality between men and women are often shallow minded. Many such groups make illogical demands such as giving both couples exactly equal and reversible rights and responsibilities. In theory, this sounds fair and square. However, when you look at the details, it is not hard to see that this arrangement paralyzes both men and women by reversing their natural roles. Improper allocation of roles puts exceedingly high pressure on women, and renders men’s roles rather ineffective. When women are the primary breadwinners for the family, they cannot afford to take long maternity leaves. Not only because such holidays may be unpaid, but also because they need to progress in their jobs to support their expanding family. It is a well-known fact that mothers develop better bonds with new born babies. In addition, babies need to be breastfed multiple times during the day. This will not be possible if the mother has a demanding job that requires her to be away from the child for long hours. Therefore, it is counter-productive for the father to be the main caretaker. That said, it is indeed productive for the man to help with raising kids. The woman should also work to secure the financial future of the family. In short, it is plausible for partners to share their domestic responsibilities, but an arrangement where mothers earn a living and fathers stay at home is way too extreme.
Thanks to widespread
women’s
rights movements, more and more
women
have become the breadwinners for their family while their husbands stay at home looking after the kids. In my opinion, this is the result of an extreme,
yet
naïve ideology that has created an imbalance in
many
families.
Organised
groups which call for absolute equality between
men
and
women
are
often
shallow minded.
Many
such groups
make
illogical demands such as giving both couples exactly equal and reversible rights and responsibilities. In theory, this sounds
fair
and square.
However
, when you look at the
details
, it is not
hard
to
see
that this arrangement paralyzes both
men
and
women
by reversing their natural roles.

Improper allocation of roles puts
exceedingly
high pressure on
women
, and renders
men
’s roles
rather
ineffective. When
women
are the primary breadwinners for the family, they cannot afford to take long maternity
leaves
. Not
only
because
such holidays may be unpaid,
but
also
because
they need to progress in their jobs to support their expanding family.

It is a well-known fact that
mothers develop better bonds with new born babies.
In addition
, babies need to
be breastfed
multiple times during the day. This will not be possible if the mother has a demanding job that requires her to be away from the child for long hours.
Therefore
, it is counter-productive for the father to be the main caretaker. That said, it is
indeed
productive for the
man
to
help
with raising kids. The woman should
also
work to secure the financial future of the family.

In short, it is plausible for partners to share their domestic responsibilities,
but
an arrangement where mothers earn a living and fathers stay at home is way too extreme.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay These days many fathers stay at home and take care of their children while mothers go out to work. What could be the reason for this? Do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts