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More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? nWLg
Nowadays many companies let their workers to operate remotely instead of working at office. In my opinion, the drawbacks of this trend are greater than the benefits. On the one hand, some organizations consider that permitting their staff to work from home will help to save more money. In other words, by reducing the numbers of workers inside the office, the company will be able to decrease some expenses such as electricity and water, daily consumable materials, and transportation. Therefore, it is profitable to the organization to follow that strategy. Another benefit to consider is that working remotely has a direct positive effect on the traffic. To illustrate the idea, removing a huge number of employees’ cars from the streets is helping to reduce the traffic congestion. For instance, research revealed that traffic jams had decreased by 50 % in the last year due to the new policy of companies. It merely shows how this trend helps to solve the traffic issues. On the other hand, many disadvantages related to this trend should be considered. Firstly, home based work is not applicable to all kind of jobs. In other words, it is essential for employees in some certain occupations to have regular field visits in addition to their office works. For instant, site engineers are requested to supervise and monitor the progress physically at site which cannot be done while sitting at home. Consequently, allowing those employees to work remotely will affect badly on the production and the progress improvement. Secondly, it was found that working at home is not allowing the workers to concentrate while doing their tasks. To illustrate the idea, at home there are many distractions which can affect on their productivity. For example, it is not practical to focus on work while TV is on or while children playing around. All of that might reflect negatively on the worker efficiency. To conclude, working at home as a part of companies recent policy has some benefits, but it cannot be compared with the major negatives of this trend and its serious consequences.
Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to operate
remotely
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at office. In my opinion, the drawbacks of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
are greater than the benefits.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organizations consider that permitting their staff to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to save more money.
In other words
, by reducing the numbers of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
inside the office, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
will be able to decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
expenses such as electricity and water, daily consumable materials, and transportation.
Therefore
, it is profitable to the organization to follow that strategy. Another benefit to consider is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
remotely
has a direct
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
. To illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, removing a huge number of employees’ cars from the streets is helping to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
For instance
, research revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams had decreased by 50 % in the last year due to the new policy of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. It
merely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
issues.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
disadvantages related to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
should
be considered
.
Firstly
, home based
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not applicable to all kind of jobs.
In other words
, it is essential for employees in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain occupations to have regular field visits
in addition
to their office works. For instant, site engineers
are requested
to supervise and monitor the progress
physically
at site which cannot
be done
while sitting at home.
Consequently
, allowing those employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
remotely
will affect
badly
on the production and the progress improvement.
Secondly
, it
was found
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home is not allowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
workers
to concentrate while doing their tasks. To illustrate the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, at home there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distractions which can
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on their productivity.
For example
, it is not practical to focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
while TV is on or while children playing around. All of that might reflect
negatively
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worker
efficiency.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
at home as a part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
recent policy has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it cannot
be compared
with the major negatives of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and its serious consequences.
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IELTS essay More and more companies allow their employees to work from home or “remotely” rather than going into an office each day. Do the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
345 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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