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some people think that hard work helps in achieving financiAL auccess while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to success.

some people think that hard work helps in achieving financiAL auccess while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to success. mjan
Hard work is very important in a person’s life. Without hard work it is not possible to achieve something. It is believed by some people that hard work is a key of financial success. On the other hand, some people are of view that hard work is not the only thing that leads to financial success. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and my opinion. According to some people, hard work is the key of achieving financial success. Without hard work, one cannot gain success in their life. Hard work is very important in every sector of life. If one is not willing to do any kind of hard work then it does not matter, what way is he/she using to become successful. Hard work helps in building values of life and make life disciplined. On the other hand, some people think that there are number of ways to get financially strong. First and foremost, thing that matter is that if we are choosing correct career path or not. If we haven’t chosen right career, then only hard work cannot help us. We must work in a smart manner along with hard work to become successful. Secondly, every decision we take have impact on our life. We should be able to take right decisions in our life. In my opinion, it is very important to consider every factor related to become successful. Hard work is the key to financial success, but it will not matter if you are able to work smartly. One should be willing to take every kind of risks to become successful.
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Hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in a person’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
it is not possible to achieve something. It
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a key of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
thing that leads to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. In this essay, I am going to discuss both views and my opinion.

According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the key of achieving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, one cannot gain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in every sector of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. If one is not willing to do any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
then it does not matter, what way is he/she using to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in building values of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
disciplined.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are number of ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
financially
strong.
First
and foremost, thing that matter is that if we are choosing correct career path or not. If we haven’t chosen right career, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Consider replacing "in a smart manner" with the adverb for "smart"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a smart manner
along with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
Secondly
, every decision we take have impact on our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. We should be able to take right decisions in our life.

In my opinion, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider every factor related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is the key to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will not matter if you are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
smartly
. One should be willing to take every kind of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
successful
.
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IELTS essay some people think that hard work helps in achieving financiAL auccess while others think it is not the only thing that contributes to success.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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